Little Shy Ariel (ft. Harry Styles)

Chapter 18 - Friendship

Chapter 18 - Friendship 

“Ariel,” Harry says after a while. We have been in silence for a few moments but it’s not a terribly awkward silence. We both have been staring at the calm waters of the lake. I turn to look at Harry and this time his eyes are not on me but glued on the waters. “The first time we met, here, why didn’t you talk? You let me think you were mute. You could’ve said anything, even a simple no.”

Ashamed I look down, finding my dress so interesting and fighting the lump in my throat. This is exhausting but I stay here, next to him, trying to keep talking.

“I was… I couldn’t and you… you caught me off guard,” I finally reply and this time I feel his gaze on me. “I wanted to… I couldn’t. I’m… I’m not good with people. This… right now, all this is so… so hard for me.” By when I finish that sentence I hug myself and take a deep breath.

I picture Mare in my head and many of the things she told me last night: Ariel, reality is never worse than your imagination. You need to make your mind and body believe that it’s okay. You have the power over your body. Like those people who can control pain! It’s all in your mind. You can do anything you want.

I need to control my body, the way my heart races, or how I tremble, or the way I feel my guts twisting. I can control my body, I’m the owner of every part of my anatomy. I can do this.

“It… it was always my sisters and I,” I explain to Harry. “I was home schooled and when I went to school… I never could talk to someone. I… I have a social anxiety disorder,” I carry on and I can hear an exclamation of confusion so when I take a quick glimpse at Harry I see him frowning. “Being around people makes me too anxious. I get… scared and I shy away.”

“Do you have friends? I’m sorry if it sounds like I’m offending you, I swear I don’t mean it like that it’s just that you make it sound like—”

I chuckle at how troubled he sounds and he stops. When I look at him he has an adorable smile that makes my heart race in a very different way.

“It’s okay and… I don’t think so. I mean… I guess Mare is my friend,” I say. “She’s a girl I met and she’s… she’s helping me. But maybe… maybe calling her my friend is going too far.”

“Well,” Harry interrupts with a beaming smile. “I’d like to be your friend.”

For a second I remember my dream, the one in which Harry was waiting for me and asked me if I wanted to be his friend. This is probably the closest I’ll get to fulfil that dream, right?

“I-I’d like that,” I reply with a smile and his widens. He looks so happy although I don’t even get why being my friend would make him happy.

This is weird but so nice because since I saved him I’ve been, well, watching him, I guess. I’ve been imagining how he really is, picturing this picture of a nice and lovely guy and now that I’m actually talking to him, I actually get the chance to prove he is like I imagined. He’s not a cocky celebrity, he’s not full of himself and it’s even hard to believe that he’s a musician with millions of fans swooning over every step he takes. Here he is, wanting to be my friend. Me, a girl who can barely speak without stuttering or feeling like dying inside. A girl who doesn’t have any other friends. A girl who’s afraid of the world but wants to be part of it so badly. And he wants to be my friend.

“Yay! Friends,” he cheers making me laugh. “I’d like you to meet my other mates, they are really nice, but only Niall is here and you already met him,” he carries on but I cringe. “No, don’t make that face! You’d like them. They’d make you laugh. I bet you’d get along great with Zayn. He’s chill.”