Little Shy Ariel (ft. Harry Styles)

Chapter 22 - Mare's Song

Chapter 22 - Mare's Song

Mare did a fantastic work with the video. I mean, it’s not professional or anything, but I love it. It’s so artistic and the fact that it’s in black and white makes me like it even more. I like the close ups to my hands playing the piano and Mare looks beautiful. There’s something so charming about her. It’s like it doesn’t matter what she’s singing or how she’s singing, it’s a fascinating sight nonetheless. I mean, you could put mute to the video and you still wouldn’t be able to take your eyes off of her. I don’t think she needs my voice to shine on stage, she just needs it to get the attention of the right people.

I saw her in the video and I could tell she was born to be a star and I felt envious. I have to admit it, because she looked so comfortable on the screen, like there wasn’t any other place for her but there. I could never be like that. In fact, there’s one take in which I appear playing the piano and the difference is so big that I can’t believe it’s possible. You can tell that all I want to do is to run away, that I don’t belong in front of the camera. That’s not my place.

If I didn’t know already seeing me on that video would’ve been all the proof I needed to convince myself that I can’t stand on stage, that my place is behind the spotlight, where I can be comfortable, where I can be myself. I’m not made to enchant people like Mare does, but my music might do the job. I don’t have to show my face. Other artists can use my music and that’s more than enough for me. If not Mare, maybe other people. I’d love that. I mean, it’s not my childhood dream, but not all dreams come true and we have to do the best we can do with what we have.

Being a songwriter is the best outcome for me.

Although the video is lovely and Mare does an excellent job, not many people notice it. I knew it would happen, I mean, the Internet is not a magical land where everyone gets noticed. There are so many talented people out there, it’s hard to get attention when so many others want the same spotlight.

I am disappointed. I had thought that with that magnetic effect Mare has everyone was going to love the video, but we barely have fifty views and one like.

Thank you whoever liked our video.

“Well, I guess this was gonna happen,” Mare says one night after we check again how the video is doing. “It would’ve been too perfect if we got noticed with just a video.”

I know she’s sad and disappointed but she still smiles and keeps her head high. I wonder how she does that. I know this is important to her, maybe too important. How does she not lose her smile? I mean, I know that she’s my chance to become a songwriter and if this doesn’t work I won’t even have that, and I had embraced the idea. It’s hard for me to smile since we posted the video, but she keeps the good attitude. How is that possible? I mean, she’s wanted and fought for this all her life, I just started now and I’m heartbroken.

“Maybe we have to keep waiting,” I offer but I can’t make it sound like I actually believe it.

Mare smiles sadly at me, knowing what I really feel. “Ariel, it’s not the end. We’ll make it, we’re a team, right? And look where we are! We just need the right person to see this. Don’t lose hope.”

I smile at her and hug her because she’s so strong, because she has so much hope and strength. She deserves her dream, she deserves more people knowing the amazing person she is.

On another note, I’ve spent a bit of time with Harry lately. Normally by the lake, he shows up before noon and we stay on the dock, talking. I’m glad to report that it’s becoming easier to talk to him. I mean, I’m still nervous all the time but I’ve noticed it’s only with Harry. I’ve met Niall twice and I don’t get that nervous. Carl is a piece of cake now, we have short and friendly conversations and it’s made easier the process of delivery. I’ve even talked to other people —and by talking I mean saying hello. I only get this nervous around Harry, but I still like spending time with him.