The Jerks Next Door || Ashton Irwin [5 Seconds Of Summer]

Chapter 41 | Love

laughing bc 90% of people comment "here we go again" on this chapter like LITERALLY THE SAME FOUR WORDS YES UR VVVV ORIGINAL god im sorry guys im being a bitch but just like skip it silently i rlly dont need to know it just hurts my feelings :(:(

Ashley POV

I froze when the words escaped his mouth. "I love you."

I didn't know what to do but panic. He already knew he loved me? How was that even possible? I didn't know if I loved him or not. Maybe other girls would know by now, but I was so old-fashioned. I didn't know what loved felt like. Did he? Was that how he knew?

He stood up and kissed me, not waiting for a response, probably knowing what was going through my mind already. I thought of everything I loved about him, thinking that maybe then I'd realize that I loved him back.

I loved the fact that if we could bond over anything, we could bond over spaghetti. It was how we first met, after all. It brought back memories - many of which were me slapping him.

I loved his fluffy hair.

I loved his sweatpants-shirt-beanie look.

I loved that he knew me so well now that he knew what I was thinking, what I was about to do, what I wanted to do, etc.

I loved that every day he would slowly become less and less of a jerk.

I loved that he was always himself around me.

I loved that I could always be myself around him. 

I loved the way his smile could light up the whole room.

I loved the way he laughed. His giggle (a manly giggle, of course) was always contagious and would always brighten up my day. He couldn't giggle without me kissing him afterwards.

I loved the way he accepted me for who I was: bad at sports, a nerd, hippy and full-busted, and all.

I loved the way his fans were so sweet to me. I loved them so much - I knew that at least, even if I didn't know whether or not I loved him yet.

I loved the fact that I could go to him if I got insecure or wanted to cry and he would always be there for me, whether he was on tour or traveling or not.

I loved the way he still got jealous, but less now. It made me know for sure that he really cared about me and didn't want anyone else getting me. He was sort of stupid, though, in that sense, at least; did he think I was just going to walk away with another guy?

I loved the way his ears would perk up whenever I sang, even though I knew I could never be any professional singer.

I loved the fact that Taylor Swift thought he was cute and funny. It made me feel really lucky when he could have been with someone like Taylor Swift and he chose me instead.

I loved that he wasn't a homophobe. I was a serious equal rights supporter. He wasn't as serious as I was. He thought that it was great when people came out. I didn't see why people should even have to come out. I thought that the world should get to a point when it didn't even matter: this person was straight, this person was gay - who cared? No one should have to 'come out of the closet.' Wasn't love about how you felt about the person?

I loved that he was so passionate about what he was doing and that drove him to success. He was really lucky, of course, to have even gotten the chance, but I knew he worked hard, and I was incredibly proud of him.

I loved the way he never tried to take advantage of me; he respected the fact that I wanted to wait until marriage. I saw the way it hit him hard when I told him at first, but he did a really good job at keeping his promise.

I loved the way he would watch things with me that he not-so-secretly hated: Disney movies, Say Yes To The Dress, Downton Abbey, etc. I knew he hated Say Yes To The Dress; he only agreed to Disney movies because we were making out 90% of the time (if I ever actually wanted to watch the movie, I'd have to watch it myself); but I think he actually liked Downton Abbey - he just had to warm up to it a bit.

I loved the fact that if we went out together, he would always put me first. I of course would always put the fans first, but we compromised and he only spend a few minutes with the fans, who were usually understanding and gushed about how cute we were together.

I loved the way he slept in and I woke up to see us tangled together under the bed sheets.

I loved the way he would listen to my 'girly' music (code for pop and indie) if I listened to his rap and hip hop, which I actually started liking after a while. I just had to get used to it, but it was pretty catchy.

I loved that his friends were always so kind to me. I finally had the real family I had always wanted but never had.

I loved that he was so ocd that if he saw those cleaining commercials where they'd just take a random swipe and leave the rest dirty, he would have to start cleaning something, otherwise he didn't feel complete. It always made me laugh and he would somehow just end up kissing me.

I oddly loved his armpit hair, even though it seemed like I was the only one. It was gross on most other guys, but somehow on him I found it adorable.

I loved that we would still yell at each other and have fights. It was horrible most of the time, but at least we knew we weren't just going to drift apart and stop having interest in each other. It was...healthy, I guess.

I loved the way he would kiss me exactly correctly for whatever situation we were in. If we were dancing around and having fun, he would kiss me really hard on the lips. If we were cuddling in bed, he would kiss me passionately. If there was something bothering one of us and we were sad, he would kiss me softly and slowly.

I loved that I could actually affect him. I never once in my life thought that I would affect him. I never considered myself sexy or anything, but he really made me feel that way.

I loved that he loved me.

I loved that he had guts enough to say it out loud. Maybe I could too.

I loved him. I may have just realized, but I knew for sure now that I loved him.

I loved that I loved him. It was such a wonderful feeling.

He pulled away and opened his mouth, starting to say that I didn't have to reciprocate the feeling, but I shook my head at him, cutting him off.

"I love you too."

His eyes lit up and he kissed me again.

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the next chapter is the epilogue ((YES THE EPILOGUE)) then it's done. D O N E. done.

ashley x

[Q&A CLOSED]