The Notebook of Crap

Diary of a girl with a messed up life chapter4

Entry4: I love you, but, you broke the toilet  

Ya, I have a broken toilet. But that's not what surprised me the most. It was that my CAT broke it!  

Like WTF?

Here, let me start at the beginning for you.  

"Mom! Stop talking to Midnight (my cat) and let me sleep!" I said to my mother. She didn't listen.

"Get down! Get down! Why aren't you listening to me?" she asked.

I sighed, "Because he's a cat?" I heard a thump and I knew that Midnight got off her bed. My cat LOVES her bed but she hates when he sleeps on it because she likes putting on light coloured sheets. And we have a black cat so...you do the math.

I snuggled under my blanket trying to get warmer. Loretta came up the stairs. I focused on the music, it was already 10 pm and I had to go to school in the morning. She walked to the bathroom. I heard a plastic bag go whoop! Then a bang! "What was that?" I asked not really caring just wanting it to go away.

"Oh no!" said Loretta with horror in her voice. I got up and rubbed my eyes and walked over to where she was. She was in the bathroom.

"What?" I asked her annoyed. She pointed her finger at the toilet.

I looked down and my eyes widen with shock. "Did you-"

"What happened?" asked my mom cutting me off. We all just stared in complete shock at what happened. Midnight came back and hid himself behind the wall. No one moved, so he moved closer. His tail was all puffy and  his eyes all big, he inched closer and closer ready to run when he hears the next big attack.

"Midnight what the fuck did you do?" I yelled at him. He dashed for cover in my mom's room. There in our bathroom was a broken toilet.

"How did he break it?" asked my mother after a few minutes of silence. Loretta shook her head. I just shook the bag a little because it was wet and I guess midnight was on the toilet... (Ya you heard me, ON the toilet.)

"Tell me what happened Loretta!" said my mom firmly. So this is what happened: Midnight was in the bathroom most likely drinking water from the toilet again when Loretta came in and shook the plastic bag a bit and Midnight went crazy! He pushed off the toilet with his back legs and then boom! Broken toilet!

My cat is not like other cat's (I mean, what kind of cat drinks out of the toilet? Mine does!) When you throw things he'll go and FETCH them for you! He DRINKS out of the toilet, instead of being scared of rain he goes outside when it's RAINING and starts to drink the water and doesn't come back inside UNTIL he's done drinking the water. He sometimes sleeps in our bathtub (which is why we have to was it every week), and worst of all he can BREAK a toilet!! And he's 2!!(In human years!)  

My cat still surprises me every day.

Since I had a broken toilet I came late to school the next day. Guess who I had first period: Mr. Keller. The one teacher that hated me the most out of 400 students. Why? Because I told my mother to yell at him. And when she did and everyone saw it, other kids told their parents to do the same. So, you could say that I started the 'parents yell at Mr. Keller' thing at my school. But no student ever back talked to him. Ever. Because he's 6'4, has brown hair, brown eyes, rarely ever shaves, fat, butt ugly (I mean a face only a mother could love) and does this weird scary eyebrow thing when one is normal and the other is at the top of his forehead and he always does this stupid pout face, UUUggghhh!!! All I can say is that you're lucky you don't have him every day for the rest of your grade 7 lives! I have him for almost a whole day!

But when I got to school my friend Ethan, was at his locker too. I hugged him. "Hey" I said when I pulled away.

"Hey. How are you?" he asked me. Ethan is the best guy friend you could ever want! He's cute with brown hair, warm brown eyes and a few freckles, funny, older (so he's really protective of me) and really cares about me.

 "Terrible" I said when I open my locker.

"Why?" he asks when he opens his. I sigh and put my books away only getting the ones I need (which are almost all of them!)

"Because I have Mr. Keller first period.

"Oh that sucks" he says and gives me an 'I wish I could help you because he makes your life a living hell' kind of smile. And right on cue Mr. Keller is glaring at me. He can't glare at Ethan because he's on the same wall as the classroom where I'm right across from it. Yup, he heard it. I say I have him first period, my friend says that sucks and I get blamed.

I walked into the room taking my seat in the front row (great! More glaring) and opened my English notebook. We had to write a stupid story about a murder and how to solve it. I love writing stories. But Romantic ones not ones about murder and solving a mystery. I can't write a story about a mystery if I only read ONE mystery book in my whole life. "This story is due on Friday" he said writing how long it had to be, how many paragraphs stuff like that on the board.

I opened my notebook and looked at how much of the story I had done. 1 paragraph. FML

I feel better now that I can bitch about Mr. Keller and how much shity work extendies have that cores don't have to worry about. You would think having an aunt that's a therapist would be ok so that you could get your anger out right? WRONG! You are so wrong!  

It's pretty much like you telling the last person on earth that you ever wanted to talk to tell you they wanted to be friends again. Oh wait. That is happening to me too! Yay! FML even more.  

From,  

A girl with a messed up life