You Are My Only Sunshine

Chapter 12: Being Stupid Again

Chapter 12

Being Stupid Again

I have to admit, I’m terrified of lunch…basically because I don’t know who to sit by. I can’t sit with Sam today, not after hanging up on him last night. He actually called me back and I had to turn off my phone so I wouldn’t do something stupid; like answer the damn thing.

                He’s probably so confused by all my mixed messages, but the truth is I can’t help it. I do have bipolar disorder, and I just have this thing where I can’t help how I feel. Last night I felt sad because of my dinner with dad, so when Sam called me I sort of took it out on him. I probably took what he said too personally. Or maybe I didn’t. I mean, why else would he want to talk to me? I have a secret that he wants to know, once he figures it out he’ll just get bored of me and not want to talk to me anymore or something.

                The bell rang, signaling the end of my fifth hour. I stood up and gathered my things as people around me filed out of the door. I followed behind them, the last to leave, and headed for my locker. Standing there waiting for me was Tessa. She had a determined look on that made me want to turn around and high tail it to the bathroom… or maybe my car so I could get the hell out of here.

                “What in the world is going on with you Quinn? Are you okay?” she asked me when I reached her.

                I focused on my combination and opening my locker so I could stall from answering her question. Maybe she could just disappear or something… or forget what she asked? When I turned to look at her and she gave me a look and I knew I had to answer her.

                “I’m fine,” I said.

                “Quinn, I know you’re lying. Hello, I saw you at lunch yesterday. Don’t be afraid to talk about Christy and Julie with me… I promise I won’t judge. And if you don’t want me to talk crap about those crazy bitches, I won’t.”

                I wanted to laugh even though I also wanted to cry. Tessa just unconsciously can make me feel so much better sometimes.

                She covered her mouth, “-I- I mean those lovely gals…”

                “Don’t worry about talking bad about them. I don’t care anymore. You guys were right.”

                “Thank God you finally see!” she said.

                I smiled lightly and started walking to lunch. Then I realized that I was going to see Sam anyway and walked a lot slower… a lot slower.

                “So what made you realize?” she asked me.

                “Christy stole my ring,” I said, without thinking. Then I decided to add, “My mother’s ring. She passed away three years ago. It’s really important to me.”

                I don’t know what came over me to tell her but it seemed like Sam took it well. I was just so sick of hiding this stupid secret and it wasn’t even like it was such a big deal. No one will hate me for it. Plus, I’m more open to talking about her death, so this could be good for me.

                I showed her my mom’s ring and she ogled it.

                “I’m sorry to hear that about your mom.”

                I shrugged but didn’t say anything. We reached the crowded lunch room; everyone was talking pretty loud anyway so I didn’t feel the need to elaborate about my mom because of the new distractions. We got ourselves sandwiches and walked back to our table.