Never Seen This Side Of You (IlimaXReader)

Ch.9

Your P.O.V.
         I woke up and rubbed my eyes. I'd cried so much last night that when I went to sleep I didn't even roll over. I got up quickly and looked in the mirror, my eyes were red and any person with eyes could tell I'd been crying for quite a while last night. I sat back down on my bed and thought about ways too cover this up. I could wear sunglasses, that wouldn't look to weird. I thought to myself, I knew I had some stashed in one of my bags, the question was which one. I looked through most of my bags until I got too the bag I'd kept my photos in, it was a small bag with flowery print on it, I knew if I looked in it I'd end up crying even if I knew I shouldn't have anything left to cry. I sat there staring at it for a few minutes, I didn't even want to touch it, but I knew I had to if I wanted to go anywhere today. I opened it and picked up the pair of sunglasses I had inside, but unfortunately right under them was one of the photos I was dreading. It was a photo taken when we went to Prof. Oaks summer camp, when we were ten, there were these to counselors that helped us when we got lost and we ended up going swimming too cheer us up, we both looked so happy, so calm, no depression, no stress, just Pokémon battles and having fun with friends. I wish I could go back to a time when Pokémon battles weren't his job, when they were the thing that made him  .happy no matter what, when he smiled at stupidly lame jokes, and stupid stories. His smile could make me smile. He put everyone else being happy in front of him being happy, he never even asked for sympathy. He didn't want anyone to worry, he was a light to a lot of people, including me. Now he's breaking right in front of me, I feel helpless, I don't feel strong enough to save him. I-I felt like I couldn't even get near him, I was afraid of messing up, of making it worse, but I wanted to fix it, to make it better, I NEVER wanted him to go any farther than he had already gone, I wanted to help, I wanted to tell him I was there for him, I wanted to hold his hand and be by his side. I wanted him to go back to being the same-or close to the same person I grew up with. I want to fix everything, I've repeated this way to many times, but I just want to save him.
Ilima's P.O.V.
I stared at something in my room, it was a small necklace I'd planned to get to
Y/N someday, but I had it made when I was you know, suicidal.
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I feel so bad this a short chapter, and that it took so long to get out, and that Author~Chan was lazy and couldn't think for a month or so, Author~Chan felt really guilty whenever she opened wattpad, I love all of u who have been patient, if anyone has any ideas if I'm taking to long, suggest em, if u don't want to do that, just comment a lot and I'll get really guilty and start writing, bad motivation but it works😂 Anyway, I'm not suicidal I promise, it's just such an issue and I've almost gone to a dark place and I kinda wanted to share it with anyone interested, sorry this really has nothing to do with the story.

So when I was eight I was watching a show called Seventh Heaven with my mom and my sister, it featured a girl whom they found out that episode had been cutting herself, and thus I learned what that meant, when I was nine in third grade, I little bully called me fat, now at that time I'd already had some self esteem issues, that I never told anyone about so my mom thought I was fine, I ended up crying a whole car ride home, about an hour, and it just caused that to get so much worse for a long time, when I was ten I was sitting in my back living room and there was a scissors near me, I just stared at it, I didn't touch it, just wondered if it would really hurt that much to try it one time, I was to afraid of my parents finding out tho, so I never did it, oddly enough what drives most people to that place I almost went, is what kept me away from it!~Ember❤️💖❤️💖❤️
P.S. Sorry for getting so personal~
P.P.S. 1k reads, YAAAY🎉