No Thanks, Mate [Completed]

Chapter Seventeen

After sweeping the ashes onto the blanket, she carried it with the corners held together, the middle dropping down with the weight of the dust.

I stopped by the shed and we got in the car.  “Where are we doing this?”

I turned toward my friend and replied, “I was thinking in my backyard, next to where we buried that old dog of his.  He’d like that, I guess, if he were here.  He loved that dog.”  When we were younger, we had an old golden retriever (Patches) that we had to have put down.  I honestly wasn’t much of a dog person, but Luke loved him.

“I guess that makes sense.”  As we drove away, I realized that Katie hadn’t seemed too upset about what happened.

“So, are you okay?”

She tore her eyes from the window.  “I’m sorry, what?”

“I said, are you okay?  I mean, Luke’s sort of gone.”

“I’m fine.  I’m torn up inside, really, but what am I supposed to do?  Sit around for the rest of my life, waiting for him to come back, even though I know it’s never gonna happen?  That may work for some people, but that’s not how I want to spend my life.  Besides, when I was upset about things, Luke would come talk to me, and he always made me smile, he always made me stop crying, so I don’t see why he would want me to cry now that he’s gone.”

I nodded.  “Some people grieve in different ways I guess.”

“I’m just thinking about all the good times.  I want to remember him as Luke, not a pile of dust in a blanket.”

I smiled.  “That makes sense.”  When we got to my house, my parents weren’t home, like usual, and so we went to the back and looked for the right pine tree.  I started digging a hole, and got it about two feet deep.  Katie lowered to blanket into the “grave” and stood up straight.

“I’d like to say a few words.”  I started burying the dust as I spoke.  “My brother wasn’t my best friend.  In fact, as you may recall, for years, I couldn’t stand him.  He was loud, obnoxious, crazy, and I was completely annoyed by him.  Until the day you pointed out to me that I was, too.

“I had just started becoming close with him when he left.  And for a year, I couldn’t think anything bad about him.  All I could think was that I missed him.  And I think I should tell you something, Katie.  While he was gone, Luke and I had a little bit of communication.  An email every month or so.  It started with him telling me that he was safe, and not to tell mom and dad where he was.  Then he started telling me about what he was doing, people he was meeting.  But he told me not to tell anyone.”

She suddenly looked upset.  But after a moment, she sighed and responded, “Well, that makes sense.  I mean, you guys were pretty close, whether you wanted to be or not.”

I smiled, glad that she took it so well.  “Now, I have some things to say.”

She stepped closer to the grave and smiled as she told all her favorite memories involving him. Some I remembered, some I didn’t.  She told me about when we were little kids, he tried to kiss her but she kicked him in the shins.  On their first date, he was being really cheesy with the yawn/arm around the shoulder move, and opening the door for her.

When she was done, we moved a fairly large rock on top of the grave to serve as a tomb stone.  We sat for another hour, telling stories about him, talking about what to do next, that sort of thing. After a while, we went inside and saw that it was about two in the afternoon.  “Hey, can I have some Tylenol?”

I nodded and got Katie a glass and bottle of pills.  She took one and I started thinking about lunch.

I know how horrible that sounds.  Thinking about food at a time like this, but I hadn’t eaten since last night.