Helpless: A Hamilton Cast Fanficton

Chapter 28- It's Just a Nightmare

Liv's POV

I woke up screaming. I looked around. I was in Lin's dressing room. I saw Lin and the rest of the cast looking at me. They all looked like they saw a ghost. "Olivia are you okay? You passed out on stage before we were going to tell everyone our news. While you were passed out you were screaming and shouting. Did you have a nightmare? Flashback?" Lin was holding my arms. I was crying. Still shaken up from what I thought was real.

"I-It was a n-nightmare..." I said trying to pull myself together, "I-I thought i-it was real... I-I thought I l-lost you..." Lin wrapped his arms around me. I started to cry even harder.

"Shh... It's okay. I'm here and I'm not leaving anytime soon," his voice was very soothing. I felt my eyes get heavy. I didn't want to go back to sleep. "Is it okay if we tell them our news. It might cheer us all up," his smile made everything that happened melt away. I nodded. Lin smiled, "so this news is the reason we called you all here on our day off. So today we found out Liv's part in the school musical... " he added a pause for dramatic effect. "The show is Hamilton and she got..." another long pause. The cast were giving him funny looks, but were genuinely curious. "She's going to be playing Eliza!" The whole room cheered. Pippa practically screamed. They were all so excited. "My surprise/news is..." Lin and all his dramatic pauses.

"Get to the point Lin! We want to know!" Anthony exclaimed as he sat next to me ruffling my hair. We all laughed. Even Lin.

"Okay, okay. I want to have Liv do the Ham4Ham this Wednesday!" I squealed. I couldn't believe he wanted me to do Ham4Ham! That's such a big deal. "Liv I know I totally caught you off guard, but you said you had some news." I sighed. I forgot i told him that I had news. It was more something I had to tell them.

"Okay. I have a couple things. It's not really news, but things you should all know about me. Things I haven't had the courage to tell you," everyone looked at me with worried looks on their faces. I took a deep breath and continued, "the first thing some of you already know, but most of you don't... I'm bi..." Everyone smiled. I was nervous because the last time I said this I was yelled at.

"We are behind you every step of the way. I hope who ever you end up with, boy or girl, loves you as much as us." Daveed hugged me as he said it. I think he knew that this is the reason I haven't been staying with Lin for the past few weeks.

"The next thing is... It's really hard to say..." I started crying again. I never practiced how I was going to tell them this. "I-I suffer from anxiety... And depression... I've also showed signs of anorexia..." I was sobbing now. Those words have never been uttered out of my mouth. Especially the anorexia part. "I have never been officially diagnosed with anorexia because I've gotten better about knowing the signs and getting myself to eat..." I couldn't control my sobbing. I was so vulnerable now. I was so scared about what they were going to say.

"Niñita..." Lin hugged me. I could tell he was fighting tears. He was holding them back so I wouldn't cry even more than I already was. I saw Daveed crying. I have never seen him cry before. Pippa and Renée were emotional messes. "We are going to get you through this Liv. Together." Lin gave me an even bigger hug. The entire cast joined in.

"Liv we love you! More than anything. We are all here for you," Anthony's voice was cracking as he spoke. He was crying too. Everyone started pulling out of the hug when Chris's voice was heard for the first time that day.

"We should all get going home. The snow is getting worse," we all nodded in agreement. I looked out the window. The snow was piling high. It was so weird for it to snow in November. I've heard of it happening but never imagined it could happen this early in the season.

"If we can even get out. It's piled really high and everything looks frozen." Thayne said standing next to me looking out of the window. Everyone came over and looked out of the window with us. "I think we're snowed in!" Thayne seemed excited by this. I wasn't. I just want to be in Lin's apartment with Vanessa and Seb. I missed them so much.

"I think so too. It doesn't look safe to go anywhere with that much ice." Oak said pointing at the ice on the sidewalks and lamp posts. It did look dangerous. "We should get ourselves comfortable. Right Lin?" I looked to Lin. He sighed. He nodded agreeing with Oak. Only an idiot would travel in this weather. A lot of the cast went to the kitchen to get food and drinks. Some of them went to get the karaoke machine. These people were obsessed with karaoke.

I guess saw I was a little sad about staying in the theater and not going home. "Don't worry niñita. The snow should start melting soon. Until then let's enjoy ourselves. Have some fun!" He picked me up and carried me downstairs. Maybe this day would turn itself around.