Soon

Chapter Twenty-One

I leaned against the doorway, breathing in the familiar scents. An atmosphere set in stone. Standing straight, I stepped inside. "Mother," my voice barely a whisper. Mary, my mother stood, hair up, before the stove, humming softly. "Mother," I repeated louder. She turned towards me slightly, she raised an eyebrow. 

"I need some answers," I said. Putting down the spoon, she stepped away to face me. "About," she questioned. I looked down, nearly chuckling. "You know," I stated. Sighing, she walked to the table. Gripping the chair tightly, she looked into my eyes. "Sit down," she commanded. Unsurely I walked to the table, pausing I looked to her, sitting down, I folded my hands. Hastily she lowered the flame before joining me. 

"Just how much have you heard," she asked. "No. You don't get to play off what I know. Tell me everything, not just what you feel obligated to tell me. because I know something," I angrily responded. Biting her lip, she looked to the floor. "Remember when you were a kid? You were always so curious. But there was one subject you never asked about. You would watch the other kids with envy as they hugged their dads or as the walked with both of their parents. Not once did you ask because you wanted to protect me. I've been so grateful but I've been careless. I know you've heard me mention John, and I know you have some suspicions but you're not sure."

I nodded slightly. She was beating around the bush. "John," I prodded. "John is your father. But I think you've already come to that conclusion.  To tell you, I'll have to go to the beginning. I was young, naive, everything had felt so new and exciting. He was tall and handsome. I had fallen for him and he didn't know who I was. High school was ending and I knew I had to make a move. I did. We went on two dates and he never called after that. School had ended and we went off to different colleges. My first day I took a test, I was pregnant. I called him, he knew. After you were born, I begged him to stay out of your life. He tried so hard. I made him out to be the bad guy because in my mind he was. John was the guy who knocked me up, the guy who never called back, I didn't want to give him a chance, so I moved. We moved several states away and began the life we have now. But he and I have kept in touch. He knows everything. I felt I owed him that much. When your accident happened he became, more determined than ever to meet you. But I was to scared. John doesn't uh approve of the way I've been raising you, that's why he was here."

She told me everything. So why did I feel like I was getting the short end of the stick? Something just felt wrong. I couldn't place it.  Pressing my lips together, I stood. Without a word, I walked away. I needed time to process this, time without my mother. But most of all I needed to figure out what she could possibly be keeping from me. I already knew most of it. No, she must be planning something, something big. I need to talk to John, maybe he'll know.