Soon

Chapter Five

Angrily I got in. Slamming the door, I waited. "Jeesh, relax," Kimberly said. A million questions were burning through my head. Watching the streets roll by, I glanced at her. Her lips were tightly pressed together. The wind blew her hair back, those soft eyes stared intently forward.

"Why are you so mad? I thought you were having a good time. Is there something I should know," she asked. Yes. "No. It's just you forced me into a date. He thinks I like him! I don't," I responded. Her eyes widened slightly while her expression hardened. Slowly she nodded. She let it sink in. 

"I don't get it. Why don't you like him? He's sweet, funny, good looking, and only has eyes for you! It's perfect," she exclaimed. "But it's not," I whispered, so quietly it was barely audible. "Why," she boldly asked. She pulled the car over. Turning to me she repeated, "Why?"

I shook my head. "Drive the car." Grabbing my hand, she stared into my eyes. "You can tell me." "Just drive," I repeated. Sighing, she let go. Grabbing the wheel, Kimberly pulled back into the road.

"We're supposed to be best friends. That means you can tell me anything. I'll understand," she said. I remained quiet. My gaze fixated on the blur of trees we passed. 

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I sighed. My mind was still replaying the car ride home. Even though that was hours ago. The sky was now dark and the stars twinkled. Each one shined brightly. They were each perfect and alone. My eyes stared at the ground. Should I pretend? Should I be Joey's girlfriend?

There's no connection, but should I? It'd get Kimberly off my back about dating guys. No one can see that I don't want just anyone, I don't want any guy, I want her. Was that to much to ask? Apparently so.  What if I told her? Slowly I shook my head. I couldn't.

She'd leave me. Kimberly would reject me. Then what of our friendship? It'd be diminished like a drop of a hat. Unsteadily I took in a breath. Gently I pushed away from the window. I wanted to move but couldn't. My feet stood still, planted to the ground. Only my arms could do my wishing. 

It wasn't as much of a wish as I knew I shouldn't stand there. This is the place where I think. My ideas spin widly. I get carried away. There's false hope and I do something I know I'll regret but it's not that simple. Is it? No. It's silly. Leaning forward, I stared outside.

The ground was close. I could leave my house. Just for a night. Have time for me to sort at the thoughts. I sighed. But that's just not me. I don't sneak out. I may be mildly popular but I'm still a good girl. Good girl.

I almost chuckled at the thought. Does a good girl fall for another girl? Perhaps. Perhaps not. For her I wouldn't care. If I could just hold her in my arms. It'd be perfect. Maybe she's not the only girl for me. I hope not. If she was then I'd live my life alone.

I'd be like the stars. They appear so close to each other but they're isolated. Alone, yet look at them. They shine so bright and beautifully. They care about nothing else but their shine. All that matters is they're legacy.

But I have nothing to focus on. I just need to get out. My hands pushed roughly against the window sill. My feet moved but not of my will. My back came crashing down on the floor below me. Everything hurt. My head slammed against the desk.

Panting I lay there. My phone was downstairs. I was home alone. There was pain everywhere. Shakily I pressed my palms to the floor, pushing myself up I leaned against the closest surface. My fingertips traced my head. When I pulled them back there was blood. Not dotted blood, my hand was covered in red. 

My eyes scanned every inch of my body. No other wounds. How hard did I fall? My head begun to spin. The pain increased. There was a pounding against my skull. My eyes slowly blinked away, as I drifted into sleep.