Chapter 10

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Chapter 10
Allie
I moaned, not ready for what today had instore for me. All I wanted was just another hour of unconsciousness where I could dream about my room at Foal Coillie.
I couldn't pretend that I wasn't comfortable. The mattress shaped my body and I hadn't had as well as night sleep in days. What made me uncomfortable was the fact that I was comfortable. I knew it was stupid. But that's how I felt.
The problem was, I was easily bought. It wasn't a secret. My brothers had used it to their advantage in the past to buy my forgiveness and I would allow it because, you know, I liked new things. But now I feared that Nicholas could do the same thing. Give me food, give me a comfortable bed, give me clothes. Trust me, I've let lads use me for less.
What shocked me more was that he had guessed? He had guess that I was...a slut.
My whole body twisted at the word. Was I a slut? I never saw myself as one. Lads fell all over me, that wasn't a secret. And that's what happens when you're beautiful, rich and has power in the wolf hierarchy. But I always thought that I was fine with it.
Was I fine with it? I mean, who needs a relationship? Who needs commitment? Life as taught me many things and one was that it was always changing. You could never predict what was around the next corner. So, wasn't it best not to have any of that? I mean, at least in the long term. That way, nobody gets hurt.
Recalling the look on my brothers' faces as they looked at their mates, I knew I was wrong. Deep down, I knew I was wrong. My brothers had all changed since meeting their mates.
Callum had stopped ignoring his own needs. Malcolm had stopped running from his problems. Archie had stopped keeping secrets. And Graham had stopped thinking only of himself.
So, if I stayed with Nicholas any longer, what will he change about me? Will he change the way I see the Macanguses? Doubt it. Will he change the way I viewed the world? Very unlikely. Or will he warm my heart that had turned cold after the death of my parents? I feared the answer.
Nicholas' groans broke my thoughts, reminding me that he only lied next to that pillow. I knew it was ridiculous to put it between us. But it did calm my nerves knowing that there was a barrier that stopped him touching me and more importantly stopped me from touching him.
He groaned again, now fully awake.
"You awake?" he groaned, sheepishly.
"A little," I moaned, pretending that I had just woken up as well.
"How did you sleep?" he asked.
Just as I was about to tell him the truth,  I realized that I shouldn't. The more he thought he was getting under my skin the harder it would be to stay away from him.
"I wouldn't say that I didn't sleep badly," I finally admitted, not trying to give too much away.
He chuckled though, clearly seeing through my lie.
"That's code, isn't it?" he asked.
I scoffed and rolled my eyes, pretending that it didn't worry me that he was starting to read me already. And to think that I thought I was a closed book with triple locks and I had thrown away the key.
"You can think whatever you what," I told him rolling onto my back.
He chuckled, "It would kill you to give me a straight answer wouldn't it."
I shrugged, avoiding the question, "Perhaps I'm more like Malcolm that way."
"He doesn't like givin' straight answers too?" he asked.
I giggled a no, remembering many occasions when he had avoided yes and no questions.
"You really think that they're apart of you, don't you?" he asked.
I was silent, trying to find a way to answer his question. I couldn't pretend that I didn't. When you live your life around those four people that are the ones to turn to in times of need, how could they not be?
Not wanting to reveal how much my brothers mean to me, I asked, "Don't you?"
"Some days," he admitted quietly, "But I don't believe that just because you're related to someone or you're always around someone, that they influence who you are or how your mind works."
I frowned, finding his underlining motive for telling me this.
"Are you tellin' me or tryin' to convince me?" I asked him.
He sighed, sitting up but not looking at me.
I began to remember all my questions about him.
So, seeing that he had been asking me questions, I thought it fair to ask a couple of my own.
"Why are you so different from Hector?" I asked.
He gave a small chuckle, "I thought all Macanguses were the same."
I shrugged, "Maybe, but you should forget about what I say. It'll make life easier for you."
He chuckled again, "Trust me, I'll never forget anythin' that you say to me."
I was about to commitment when I found that I didn't have the words. Did he seriously just say that? It was the most simplest sentence. And yet it made my heart flutter and even make my cheeks redden, ashamed once again.
"Are you always goin' to make me feel sorry for insultin' you?" I asked, trying to build up my wall again.
It was getting harder and harder.
"Well," he started, "Is it workin'?"
The way his lips crooked to grin made me bite my lip to stop my smiling and to contain any giggle that struggled to stay in my mouth. It wasn't working.
"You know, it's not a crime to smile," he told me.
I rolled my eyes.
Great, my mate was a smart arse. Crap, did I just admit that Nicholas was my mate.
His movement caught my attention as he stood and walked over to the chest-of-draws. Before I could ask questions about what he was doing, he pulled off his jumper revealing his back. My eyes widened at the scarred tissue that were like claw marks from his shoulder blades and all the way down his spine.
My wolf stirred at the sight. I was convinced that he had to have gotten them before he shifted but deep in my heart, I knew that wasn't the case.
He would have to have gotten them after he had fully grown and that would have been years after he first shifted. So, how deep do cuts have to be to not heal?
Getting over my shock, I jumped out of bed and walked closer to him.
"Nick, you back!" I yelled, causing him to jump and turn to face me.
He was stunned by my sudden shouting and looked on edge. He swallowed showing vulnerability and if I didn't know him better, I would even say that he forgot that they were even there.
"How did you get them?" I asked before he bolted from my sight.
"You wouldn't believe me even if I told you," he told me, turning away from me and quickly fishing out a shirt and pulling it on, "and even if you did, you wouldn't understand."
I frowned, not hiding that I was offended.
"Was it punishment?" I asked, though I didn't understand why.
Shouldn't the son of an alpha be the one giving the punishment, not receiving it?
Nicholas didn't answer me. He just walked over to his desk and pretended that I wasn't speaking.
"A ritual?"
He frowned, finally looking at me, "a ritual?"
I shrugged, "I don't know. Why else would you have claw marks on your back?"
"There not claw marks," he said, almost snapping and finally turning to face me.
"Then what are they?" I asked.
Snatching some paper, he stormed towards the exit of the tent.
"Nick!" I called after him, annoyed that he was avoiding the questions, "Nick!"

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