In The Fastlane

Chapter 53

Chapter 53

Sydney's POV

"Nice of you too drop by Niall," Amanda half sneered. I swear if I could I would slap that grimace right of her lips. Her eyes pinned back to my own yearning me to turn around, to face him, to face my worst nightmare at this moment in time.

"Its not like she wants to see me anyway," My heart drops to the very pit of my stomach as I hear Niall speak for the first time in three days. Its empty, a hollow voice in itself. His face was probably just the same. I bite the inside of my cheek holding back the winsing as I taste iron in between my teeth. I squeeze my eyes shut and suddenly I feel a calmness course through my body. With one movement my boots turn my body around to face the blond boy. I was right, he did look empty. His eyes were dug so deep into his head it looked inhumane. His usually blond hair was tussled and much darker. He had a thin layer of glaze over his eyes and his nose was bright red. If I weren't so angry with the world right now I would probably be in his arms. Explaining how sorry I was for everything, but I'm just too damn stubborn to admit that.

"Why are you here?" Such a silly question. I mentally wanted to kick my behind for the inquired statement. I knew why he was here, for god sake the people next door probably new why he was here after all the screaming.

"I think the question is why wouldn't I be here?" He states simply. I was mentally preparing myself for some sort of screaming but with the lurking brunette behind me I decided against it.

"I thought you'd hate me after I- well left." I spoke, hushed. "Its not like it'd be the first time." I added.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Okay," I reply.

"Do I look like Evan?" I cocked my eye brow at his question, my feet were nearly sweating in puddles beaneath myself. I wish I would melt with them.

"No."

"Than why do you keep comparing me to him?" I had expected him to stop there but the way he parted his lips and sucked in a large gust of air I knew what was coming. "Is it because I'm a guy? Because I'm of the male species you can't give me a chance? You can't look me in the eye and say anything but you can't love me? Why do you not trust anyone but yourself just because of one heart break? Do you think you're the only one who's ever been hurt? Because trust me, you aren't. I've had my share of heart breaks but you know what? I'm okay. I'm okay because there are people like you who really show the goodness of what a person can be. Someone who can make you change your mind completely about problems you once had. Why can't I be that person? Why do you push away everything you ever get in your life just so you can build these stupid walls, maybe drink a little, and assume just because you leave the situation everyone's god damn okay. Well I'm not okay, for fuck's sake you can't even look at me straight without bursting into tears! Why can't you let me help you for once." I felt the tight grip of Amanda's hand on my wrist, it felt different. It was cold. I wanted to look her in the eye and call her a backstabbing bitch but I knew every single word that came off both their lips was the pure truth.

"I really don't want to say it again," I whisper, I can already feel tears brimming on my eyelids. I was seriously sick of crying, I was truly surprised I hadn't cried out yet.

"I'll leave you two alone," I heard Amanda mumble from behind. She gives my wrist a comforting squeeze, but I don't allow my gaze to meet back up to Nialls. He's standing within two feet of me now, my heart is beating so hard I'm nervous he's going to hear it.

"Sydney," He says stepping atleast a foot closer to me. The left of lingering space is occupied by my harsh and loud breaths.

"I really fucked things up," I nearly laugh before sniffling and running the sleeve of my jacket along my nose.