Big Time Love

Chapter 20 - Undone

As we pulled up in the drive away, my stomach was back in knots. 

The idea of calling Kendall and the others made my head spin. I'd messed up, big time. 

What if they were so mad at me? You deserve it. the voice in my head said. 

I shook it off, even though I knew it was definitely true. 

I got out of the car and grabbed my things while my mom unlocked the door to our house. I took a deep breath and calmed myself. My dad would be a windstorm of happiness to see me, that is, if he wasn't still upset about the whole 'I'm getting married!' thing...

I walked in and saw my dad laying down on one of the two leather couches that filled our living room and he instantly shot up and the sound of the door being shut. "Sam!" he said, his voice full of joy. My heart instantly felt alot lighter. I smiled and hugged him as he came up to me. I breathed in his scent. "Hi, Dad. I missed you." He grinned. I'd never really noticed how alike he and Carlos actually were. "I missed you too Sammy. How's Kendall?" I furrowed my brow. He wasn't upset? "Actually, I'm not too sure." Now it was his turn to look confused. "What do you mean?" 

"Well," I began, "I kinda left Los Angeles without telling anyone. I left a note, but I didn't pick up when he called...and I...I screwed up." Tears slid down my cheeks as my dad embraced me again. "Oh, Sam. It's gonna be alright. I promise. Just call Kendall and explain." I nodded. There it was again, that suggestion. It was the only way to fix anything. I looked up at my dad and wiped my tears away with the back of my hand. "Okay. I'm gonna go do that right now. I might be awhile." He gave me a warm smile. "Take as much time as you need." 

As I climbed the stairs up to my bedroom, I took a glance at my mom. She was staring at my dad, dumbfounded. I guess she too had thought that as a dad, he'd be a little more upset that his only daughter was engaged at sixteen. 

I smiled to myself. He'd always been the more understanding of the two. 

As I reached my bedroom, I turned the knob and slipped inside, shutting it again. I dumped my bags on the floor and collapsed on the bed. I covered my face with my hands and took another deep breath. You can do this. 

I flipped to my side and grabbed my purse from the side of the bed, digging through it to find my phone. With full battery, my hands shaking, and my heart racing, I dialed Kendall's number. 

I pressed the phone to my ear, and for the longest time, it rang and rang. 

I was starting to think he'd never pick up when I heard his voice through the reciever. "Sam." His voice was angry. It wasn't anything that I'd expected. I suppose I thought he'd be relieved to hear from me. I closed my eyes. 

"Kendall..." 

"No," he started, "I...I can't even believe you'd leave...without even telling me! I mean, what made you think that it'd be alright?" 

Tears were streaming down my cheeks again. 

"Kendall...I didn't....I knew it wasn't okay...but I thought it was for the best...I..."

He interrupted again. "For the best? For who Sam? For you? Not for me, that's for sure." 

My voice was cracking. "K-Kendall...honestly. Please, listen. Logan left because of me...Momma Knight was so stressed....I thought if I left...everything would be okay. I...I swear I didn't do it because of you. I love you. With all my heart. Please...please believe me." There was an awkward silence. "Samantha." He hadn't used my full name since the day we met, and I'd told him my nickname. 

He picked up again. "You left me a note. A NOTE. You think I actually...you think I actually can forgive you for flying across the country without even saying goodbye to me? Without anything but a note?" 

I was shaking my head back and forth. "No, Kendall...no. Please...no. Don't..."

"Samantha, I'm sorry. But I honestly think...I think we need to take a break." 

"What?" I said. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"I'm sorry..." his voice barely above a whisper. 

"Are you...are you telling me we aren't getting married?" 

"I don't know," he said, "I just...I'm not ready to forgive you. I'm sorry." 

"You don't seem sorry." I said quietly. 

"I'm sorry." 

And then the line went dead.