Big Time Love

Chapter 18 - I Don't Wanna Say Goodbye..

As promised, I got up at 6 in the morning to be ready to go to Rocque Records. I took a quick trip to Carlos' room and woke him up, letting him know about the meeting we were supposed to have with Griffin. He reassured me he would wake up the other guys and I gave him a somber nod. 

Last night's thought was still rattling in my mind. I combed out my hair and threw on some shorts and a tank. I wasn't in the mood to put any effort in how I looked. It was weird to think that the thing with Logan had just happened yesterday. Or this morning. Whatever. 

My days were all screwed up. The stress of it all was finally seeming to get to me. I had never realized how drama-filled this summer had been. And suddenly, going back to Minnesota seemed like the best option, not only for Momma Knight, not for Carlos or Logan, but for me. I had to do what was best for me. It didn't matter if my friends back home believed me when I talked about this summer. I knew myself. 

I walked past everyone eating a quick breakfast at the table and headed down to the lobby. 

I wasn't in the mood to socialize either.

A few minutes later, the guys came down-minus Logan-and we packed up into Kendall's Mustang. The cool wind ran through our hair, and it felt like it swept away the only remaining energy we had left too. 

We got to Rocque Records and took the elevator to the studio floor. There, we found Gustavo in a black suit, Kelly in a peach ruffled dress, and Griffin and his assistant waiting for us. Kendall looked at all them and said, "Hey...uhm, are we under-dressed?" I looked at myself and the guys, our outfits consisting of t-shirts and jeans or shorts. I had to agree. "No, it's fine. We have a meeting after this with the head music executive. We just wanted to talk to you guys first." Gustavo  said. We nodded and waited for the news. 

Griffin spoke first. 

"You guys got approved for the tour! Sam'll be opening up for you. FIrst concert is here in San Diego, two weeks from now." My heart sank. My dreams were finally coming true, and I already had one foot out the door. It was for the best. Minnesota was for the best. 

The guys got so excited, Kendall flashing me a big smile, and even though I didn't mean it, I gave him one too. 

They talked details for a while, and I spoke when spoken to, smiled when necessary. 

I didn't want anybody to know that anything was wrong. 

They finished their meeting and we headed outside. Kendall, James, and Carlos chatted happily about their new tour. It was funny. Logan only came up once. 

Besides, I wasn't worried. He'd come back after I left. 

"Guys?" I said. The boys turned around, obviously freaked that I'd finally said something. 

I got their full attention. "What are we doing now?" 

Kendall answered. "Well, we were thinking about going out to eat. You know, like a celebratory breakfast." He gave me a big smile. 

I returned it. No matter what mood I was in, his sparkling green eyes and his toothy grin always filled my tummy with butterflies. 

I'd miss that the most. 

I mentally slapped myself. It wasn't like I'd never see the guy again...it was just a...a vacation. 

Yeah, a vacation. It was better to see it that way. 

"Oh...well that's cool, but I was thinking I'd head back home. I...I didn't get much sleep last night." I said. It was true, I didn't sleep much, but that was definitely not why I wanted to go home. The guys looked at each other. I guess they were trying to figure out  if I was telling the truth. Eventually, they met a silent agreement. Carlos gave me a hug and said, "Be careful. I love you." I smiled at him. "I love you too."