Big Time Love

Chapter 19 - Mistakes are Made

The whole plane ride, sleep had no problem escaping me.

I watched as the other passengers drifted in and out of sleep, noticed some reading, and all totally at ease. I still felt sick. I was way too worried about what Kendall was thinking right now. 

I loved him with all my heart, and now, I knew I'd probably broken his. 

Tears filled my eyes again, and I let them slide silently down my cheeks. 

What are you crying about? the voice inside my head said. You were the one who chose this.

I took a deep breath. It was, it was my choice to leave Los Angeles. It was my fault, and I needed to stop feeling like I was the victim. I knew well enough that I was no where close. 

As the seat belt light flashed above me, and the plane descended, I couldn't even imagine what was waiting for me. I hadn't remembered to call my parents before I had made a mad dash for the airport, and now, my stomach formed new knots and I took another deep breath. 

Would they think that I was being totally irresponsible? Would they think that their daughter was only making excuses? Worrying about only herself and how to get away from her problems? 

What they think? 

The stewardess tapped me on the shoulder and handed me my duffel. 

"Sweetheart," she said, "are you really gonna wear that here?" 

I looked down at my clothes and realized what she meant. In Minnesota, the weather was fairly cool and here I was, wearing shorts and a tank. 

My cheeks flushed and she smiled at me. "Thank you. I'll be sure and change when we get off the plane." I said. She nodded and walked towards the front of the plane. I hugged my bag to my chest and waited for the OK to leave the plane. 

As soon as it came, I was the first one off. 

I got a bunch of odd looks from the people waiting to board their own planes. I guessed it was probably because of my clothes, or maybe the fact that I was speed-walking to the bathroom with my phone pressed to my ear.

It rang and rang, and my stomach churned as I waited for my parents to pick up. 

 "Samantha?" 

I took a breath. "Hey, Mom." 

There was a pause. I guessed she was confused that I'd even called, considering we hadn't talked since the whole 'I'm getting married!' fiasco. "Oh, hi. Listen, sweetie, if this is about Kendall, and getting married, now is not really a good time. Besides, I think you know how I feel about the whole thing." I rolled my eyes. Was she trying to piss me off? "No, Mom. It's not that." Another pause. "Then what is it?" I sighed into the phone. "I'm in Minnesota," I finally said. "I need you to pick me up at the airport." "What? What are you doing back? You weren't supposed to come home for another three weeks. Are you alright?" I walked into the bathroom.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'll explain later, ok? I have to change." 

"Uhm, alright. I'll be there soon. I'll call when I'm outside." she said. "Okay. Bye." I hung up the phone and found a stall that unoccupied. I locked the door and began digging through my duffel. I found a pair of jeans, some black sneakers, and a black long sleeve. I changed quickly and put my things away. As I was walking down the hall and out to the front of the airport, something hit me. 

Would they recognize me? Had all these strangers seen those tabloid pictures of me and Kendall kissing at the beach? Had they heard all about our engagement? 

I turned quickly and headed into the giftshop. I grabbed a plain hoodie, some cheap Wayfarer sunglasses, and the latest People magazine.

I paid for it all and went and found a bench nearby. I slipped on the hoodie and my sunglasses. I grabbed the magazine and flipped through it. Sure enough, there it was. The picture of Kendall and I. I instantly had the urge to cry, but I fought it. Underneath the photo, there was a caption that read, "Newly engaged couple Kendall Knight, and Samantha Garcia (sister of Big Time Rush member, Carlos Garcia) share an adorable moment on Santa Monica beach." I smiled. 

I stuffed the magazine in my duffel and a bit later, my mom called. I headed outside and found her easily. I loaded up my things and slipped into the passenger seat. I buckled up, adjusted myself, and the whole time my mother just stared, like she was trying to figure out what I'd done to have left Los Angeles. I turned to her. "You're boring holes into my skull, Mom." She blushed. "I'm sorry...I'm just trying to figure you out. One minute, you're head over heels in love with a boy and you don't want to come back home, the next, you're randomly showing up in Minnesota. What's going on with you?" I thought for a moment. Did I really know the answer? 

I stared at the car window into the late evening sky and thought about what she said.

And before I knew it, I was telling my mom everything that had happened. From Kendall, to Carlos, to Momma Knight, to Logan. Everything. 

When I was through, she was quiet. "You left because of that?" 

I closed my eyes. "You don't get it. All that time, it was all my fault." 

She shook her head. "You couldn't have helped those things, Samantha! You couldn't have stopped Logan from liking you, you couldn't have stopped Mrs. Knight from worrying about her son. Nothing you could have done could have changed what happened." 

I sat in the passenger seat and stared out the windshield. Was she right? 

"But if I hadn't gone, none of this would have happened." 

Eventually, my mom pulled over and turned off the car. She turned in her seat and looked me straight in the eye. "You're right. None of this would've happened if you hadn't gone to Los Angeles. You wouldn't have gotten engaged to your brother's best friend, and Logan wouldn't have ever fallen for you. But then again, it happened. You can't go back in time and change it. It's done. You can run away from your problems, Sam, but honestly, where's that gonna get you? You look absolutely miserable here, as much as I hate to say it. I wish you were happy to be home, but I know you're not. I can see it in your eyes, the way they shimmer when you talk about Kendall. I know you're in love...so why are you here?" 

So why are you here? 

"It...it made sense when I got on the plane. I thought I was doing them all a favor by leaving." 

"No...you just ran away from your problems. That never solves anything." 

I put my face in my hands and sighed loudly. "What have I done!? What do I do?" 

My mom gave me a small smile. "You go back."

"Won't that seem pathetic though? Leaving for a day?"

"Sam! Won't it be worse if you stay here?"

I nodded my head.

"Okay then. We'll look tickets up tomorrow. For now, let's go home."

And she turned on the car and patted my knee. "I love you. And I'm gonna tell you this now, before we get home....I give you permission to marry Kendall." 

I smiled and tears began to form in my eyes. But they were different tears.

Tears of joy, I guess. "Thanks Mom."

She shrugged it off and gave me another smile. "By the way, your phone's been blinking on and off for the whole car ride. Do me a favor when we get home. Call them back."

I nodded and relaxed in my seat as my mom started driving again.

I'd call them, it'd all be alright.

Hopefully.