The Reason For Grace (Sequel to A Reason To Stay)

Chapter 7

Three days later Brother Patrick was lain to rest. Again it was raining and although Payton yearned to be there for her friends he knew it was best to keep her children indoors where it was dry and warm.

"Please tell Doris I send my love and prayers." she was telling her husband. "Tell her if it were just me I would be there but the children..."

"She knows that." Joshua said as he finished dressing in his church clothes. "She wouldn't want you to neglect the children or feel bad for not being there. There isn't anything you can do and you know as well as I do, today she won't remember  half the people who came to stand at the grave with her..."

Payton knew he spoke the truth. She stepped forward and let him hold her. She touched his beard, "What do you look like under there, Joshua Smith?" she asked tugging on his thick beard.

He laughed and winked at her, "Young!"

Payton kissed him. "I can't imagine you without this but I do wonder what my husband's face looks like under all this hair!" she pretended to pick though his beard looking for his face underneath.

Joshua picked her up and set her on the other side of him. he was pulling on suspenders and a belt. "Maybe you'll find out one of these days but today I have somewhere to be."

Payton nodded, "Yes and tell her I'll come and see her as soon as I can."

Joshua nodded, "I know and I'll be sure and let her know. She'll be thankful for a visit. I'm sure she'll be very lonely."

 Payton nodded and then went back t the living quarters side of the house to check on the kids who were playing with blocks in the floor. Nate lay in a drawer that Joshua had fashioned as a bed. he was sitting with help and she had propped him up with blankets. He was leaning now and she rushed over to rite him. He smiled up at her and it warmed her heart. She was so thankful for her children all of them. And so thankful that they all were so very healthy.

her mind went back to Doris, who had lost so much in this life. Three husbands and all of her children. Payton wanted so badly to be there for her today but she sighed as she could hear the rain pelting the roof. "Lord you must have a great reward for a woman like Doris who has lost so much." she said. Tommy came over and hugged her, "What did Grandma Doris lose?" he asked.

"She lost Popa Patrick." Payton explained.

"Where'd he go?" Tommy asked with all innocence.

"He went to heaven like your real papa." she told him "The angles came and carried him away."

Tommy wrinkled his brow, "No angels gonna carry me away!" he said stubbornly, "I'm not going to heaven!"

"Oh, Tommy, heaven is a beautiful place and we all want to go there when the time is right. Don't you want to see Popa Patrick and your real Pa, Thomas again one day?"

"Yeah." he said

"Well, we have to go to heaven to see them."

Tommy rubbed his head and then scrunched up his mouth and nose.  He just wasn't sure about this. Payton smiled, "You'll understand one day, son." she told him.

Joshua opened the door and quickly shut it behind him. He was dressed in his Sunday best and Payton was shocked at how attractive she found him. "You look nice." she told him and then felt a pain of sorrow. It wasn't for a happy occasion he was all dressed up.

"Thank you." he said solomly. "I'm going to take the surrey. I think I'll drive Doris to and from the cemetary. Don't worry if I'm late. I want to make sure she's okay before I leave." he told his wife.

She hugged him and kissed him as did the older two kids. Nate cried out and so he walked over and picked the baby up. "It's almost like he know's I'm leaving." he told her and smiled. Then to the kids, "You two mind your momma and help her with the baby. No fighting and be nice to Jed."

Tommy & Hannah both shook their heads, taking the instructions very serious.

"I'll be back tonight. Don't hold supper for me."

And with that he was out the door and Payton and the children were alone.

Joshua wasn't the only one who stopped by the house first. Payton had sent a fresh loaf of bread and some pepper jam and strawberry jam. She had put it in a bowl and placed a plate over the top to keep the water out. "It wouldn't do to give her soggy bread." she had explained to Joshua.

Once inside someone else took the bread and placed it on the table. It was an older woman from the church. She thanked him and told him to be sure and tell Doris it had come from him and Payton in case she forgot. Joshua walked through the full house and found Doris sitting in the bedroom next to Patrck's cold body. She was holding his hand till it was time to place the coffin lid on the coffin and carry him to the cemetery.

Joshua stood before her and she stood and hugged him. "Oh, son, I knew you would come." she said, "Payton's not here is she?" she asked looking around him.

"No, the rain." he said.

"Good, those babies need to stay out of this cold, wet mess. I'm so glad she understands that." she told him eyeing a young couple in the corner who had a baby about a year old and she was evidently expecting again. "Some people just don't have no sense!" she told him as she sat back down and took her husband's hand.

"She says she'll come and see as soon as she can. She sends you her love and prayers and it's killing her that she wasn't here for you."

"Oh, she knows I know she would if she could and she also better know if she gets them kids out in this kind of weather I'll skin her hide... the both of you as a matter of fact!" she smiled at him then. "You would think that it would get easier when your older or easier after you've already barried two husbands but it doesn't." She was looking at her Patrick now. "I think it's harder this time. I don't know why but it just seems so hard. Maybe it's because I'm older too and I know that more than likely my days are going to be spent alone..."

Joshua wanted to say something to help but nothing came to mind. So, instead he kept quite and stood behind her chair with his hand resting on her shoulder to let her know he was still there.

Finally the undertaker came and told them it was time. Nick was going to read over the graveside. He was sure it would be brief as it was still raining cats and dogs out there.

"I've brought the buggy so I can take you. If you don't mind, that is?" He whispered.

Doris smiled at him, "I was counting on that." She said patting his hand.

He stepped out of the room to give her a moment of privacy alone with her husband's body before the coffin was nailed shut.

Doris emerged from the room broken and crying. It was not like her to be out of control of her emotions. Joshua quickly took her under his arm and led her to the door. "Are you ready?" he asked helping her with her shawl and throwing his long coat over their heads. She nodded and they ran as quickly as they could to the buggy.

Payton had insisted he take a quilt for Doris and he was glad she had now. They rode across town with the seven other buggies and wagons in attendance. The weather had kept many from coming but Doris didn't seem to notice any of it.

 The funeral was short. Nick read a passage from the bible. Told everyone Bro. Patrick was a man of God and would encourage them to all live this life for Lord so they might rein with him forever. He said a quick prayer and they dismissed.

By the time he got Doris home they were all drenched. Some of the women had stayed behind and had a meal waiting on them. Joshua ate with Doris but she insisted he leave while the rain had slacked up.

"You've got a family waiting on you at home. I'll be fine." she said looking around the house, "I have a feeling they aren't going to leave me alone for quite a while." she sounded irritated at the thought but Joshua knew she was secretly thankful that she wouldn't be alone.

He left and made it half way home before the sky opened and the rain was pouring in bucket fulls again. He couldn't wait to get home to Payton and the children.