The Reason For Grace (Sequel to A Reason To Stay)

Chapter 21

Payton awoke to Grace's crying. She quickly roused and took her into her arms. The first thing she noticed was that Grace had wet through her clothing and blankets. She would have to take care of that first. Then she would feed the hungry child. She glanced out the curtained window at the light streaming in. She wasn't sure how long she had slept or if Joshua and Doris would be home soon. Doris had put a pot of soup on in the kitchen to be ready when they returned home so Payton didn't have to worry about dinner. Doris had taken care of that just as she always took care of everything else. Once again she felt like such a failure. She couldn't even keep up with her own house and children.

Her hands moved quickly when changing the baby. Grace was her fourth and she knew exactly what to do. She had even changed the baby in the dead of night without a lantern or candle. She smiled as the thought came to her. She could at least do something. Grace was dressed in a fresh clean diaper and a new gown. Payton smiled at her. "I'm sure you feel much better." she took two blankets and swaddled her. She loved the heaviness of a baby in her arms. It was so soothing to hold a baby so close to your heart and know that you were holding a small piece of heaven. She smiled at the little darling. Her heart swelled with love for the babe in her arms and at the same time her breast began to ache. It was definitely time to feed Grace. Both Payton's breast and Grace's cries were sure signs.

When Grace was finally fed and softly snoring, Payton layed her down in her cradle. She stepped away holding her breath, afraid that even the sound of her breathing would wake the peacefully sleeping baby. When she had stood for a whole minute and watched her sleep, she let her breath out with a loud "Whoosh" She cringed when Grace twisted in her blankets but she didn't rouse. Payton looked around the messy room. Laundry sat in two corners and dust was visible on the dresser and window seal. The bed was unmade and the sheets were in need of a washing. She sighed as she realized that so much needed tending but would have to wait till later or another day. If she started banging around now, while the baby was asleep she would wake her. She stepped outside to the hallway and left the door open. She refused to look in the children's bedrooms as she passed by and made her way downstairs.

At the bottom of the staircase she looked around the sitting room. It needed dusting and waxing. the floors needed a good washing and the windows too. She stood on the bottom step and looked around the room several minuets before she decided to head to the dining room. The dining room and kitchen were the two cleanest rooms in the entire house. Doris had been busy in these two rooms and kept it cleaned behind her. Payton sat down at the table in the kitchen and sighed. She set her elbow on the table top and rested her head in her hand. A cup of coffee would be nice, she thought but was to lazy to get up and get one. So instead, she stared out the window at the sky above. She wondered what the sermon had been about and if the children were good during services. She wondered if anyone asked after herself and the baby... She sighed. She was no longer tired but didn't have the get up and go to do much more than sit. She decided to step out on the porch. She left the door open so to hear Grace if she cried. The wind whipped her skirt and tousled her hair. She couldn't remember the last time she had just enjoyed the feel of the wind on her face. So she stood for a long time with her eyes closed and did just that.

The rattling of a wagon and the sound of clinging chains sent her eyes fluttering open. It was her family. Joshua was driving the team. Doris sitting on the seat beside him. Nathan was secure in her lap and the other two children were standing between them behind the seat. Tommy starting waving at her as soon as he spotted her. She waved back in a grand fashion. Hannah noticed her then and she waved excitedly to her mother. She blew kisses and all but hopped around. It warmed her heart to know her children missed her and loved her so much.

Joshua pulled the wagon to a stop and helped the children and Doris down. He smiled at his wife, tipped his hat and then loaded back up and took the wagon and team to the barn. Nathan scurried up the stairs and into his mothers arms. She lifted him and ignored Doris' frowning face.