Deteriorate

No!

A/N: passed all my exams made straight A's schooL IS OVER

Also this chapter is ft. Kirstie!!!

Also, side note: so my new ADD medicine is really great but it makes me crash around 5 hours after I take it and ugh bye

**

Kirstie

"No, no, no..." I hum the backup vocals for our new arrangement.

Someone brings in a rack of clothes.

"Here are your wardrobe options."

Options?

Are we that famous?

"Uh, thank you." I say and walk over to the rack.

I pick out a cute summery dress and some heels because I'm short.

"Are you ready for hair?" Someone knocks on the door.

"Sure!" I say.

Our hairstylist comes in and I sit in a chair.

"Hm... Let's do some waves like I did for Scott."

We sit and talk while she does my hair and applies some light makeup.

I look at myself in the mirror and smile.

"Love the eyes! Thanks, Gen."

"No problem. It's so fun to have a girl to do makeup on."

I go into the studio where a screen is set up.

I'm the last one in there.

Shocker.

"Alright guys, let's run through it like we normally do."

When we shoot a video, we do a run where we just experiment with things and have people call out things as we go along.

"Ready?" The cameraman calls.

Kevin counts us off.

"Nah to the ah to the no, no, no."

I do my little backup part that I always do because I'm a higher soprano and I obviously can't sing solos.

I know that I'm "off" at concerts; that's bound to happen when the sound man can't get your mic level right and thinks that you can't sing loud because you're a girl.

Anyway, back to the video shoot.

"No, no, no, no, no..."

Yep, same thing over and over again.

"Great job, guys."

These types of video shoots don't take nearly as long as the actual music videos that we do.

I go sit in my dressing room.

Maybe they don't need you.

They could easily do a three part harmony without a girl.

Mitch kinda sounds like a girl.

I can't be thinking like this.

Scott just got through with cancer treatment, for god sakes.

Someone knocks on the door.

"Are you naked? Can I come in."

I smile. "You can come in."

Scott walks through the door. "Why are you in here all alone?"

"Because I'm a girl. I have a lonely dressing room."

"Rooms have feelings now?" He asks and sits beside me.

"You seem sad." He says and puts his arm around me.

"I'm alright, just tired."

"Are you-"

"No." I answer quickly.

He raises his eyebrows (what eyebrows). "Okay, I shouldn't ask that, I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay. I'm just feeling a little down."

"What is it?"

"Nothing."

"I'm not leaving until you tell me." He says and crosses his arms.

I roll my eyes. "Fine. I feel like... I feel like you guys don't really need a girl. Mitch can be a girl. People always say I'm pitchy and stuff."

Scott sits up and turns towards me.

"Kirstie. We started this group with you and we're going to end this group with you. Don't you think Mitch would've already said something if you were a little "off" or whatever? Don't ever put yourself down, okay? You're an amazing singer. We were put together by a choir teacher- literally a person who devotes her life to music. I don't want to hear you put yourself down again."

I nod. "Thank you... And... I know this is really stressful because you know, you're still healing and-"

"Don't ever think that you're stressing me out by talking to me. That's what I'm here for. I know... I know that you always needed a male figure to talk to. It can be me."

I feel tears coming into my eyes. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." He says and hugs me.

"There you guys are! Bus is leaving soon." Esther says from the doorway.

"We're coming." I say and stand up.

Scott puts his arm around me and we walk to the bus together.

"I'm gonna take a nap." I say.

"Me too." Scott says and the others mumble their "goodnight"s.

We get into our bunks and Scott pulls his curtain back and makes a heart shape with his hands before shutting it.

I smile and shut my curtain.

I fall asleep the same as always but this time I had something new on my mind.

Confidence.