Deteriorate

Fragile.

Kirstie

Scott.

My best friend.

A... Tumor?

Cancer?

This must all be a dream.

I squeeze Mitch's hand as we enter Scott's room.

He doesn't look like Scott.

That isn't Scott.

That's Scott's body in a hospital bed.

My Scott is always happy. Always loving, excited, and hyper.

This Scott is...

Weak.

Mitch tightens his grip on my hand as we approach his bed.

He looks so fragile.

Like a piece of glass.

I sit in a chair beside his bed and carefully grab his hand.

My lip starts to quiver and my waterline fills with tears.

I know he'll be okay.

It could be worse.

I trace my finger along the veins on his arm, most of which have IVs or stickers on them.

I look at his sats on the monitor and just thank God that he's stable.

I hear sniffling coming from beside me and I turn to see Mitch sitting beside me.

"Mitch?" I croak out.

Mitch has his hands folded together and his head bowed.

That's how I know that this is serious.

"Kirstie..." He croaks out.

I grab his hand in mine.

We stay in that position for a few minutes, nothing but the sound of monitors beeping in the room.

Avi and Kevin enter the room and stay silent.

Mitch brings his head up, tears running down his face.

A doctor comes in.

"I'm doctor Smith and I'm here to help with deciding what kind of treatment to do."

We all give her our attention to learn how much our lives will be changed.

"The main treatment that we usually give is radiation, but first we will need to surgically remove the tumor from the brain. We will perform a surgery called a craniotomy to remove the tumor. Scott will remain in the hospital for 5-7 days and then we will go from there."

"How will radiation affect him?" Kevin asks.

"For some, there are little to no side effects. He could have anything from fatigue to internal bleeding. He will most likely not have bleeding because he is not undergoing any chemo."

"So he will still be able to sing?" Mitch croaks out.

"Yes, this will have no effect on his singing ability. He will need to take it easy for a while so I suggest that you take a break."

"Thank you." Kevin says.

"We are ready to take him for surgery so whenever you're ready let us know."

She exits the room and Mitch grabs Scott's hand.

I've never seen two friends be so close.

"What if he- what if- what if something goes wrong?" Mitch cries out.

"Mitch, they said that we caught it early and that he will be okay." I say and wipe his tears.

He sniffles and nods.

Kevin kneels down and whispers something in Mitch's ear.

Mitch nods and stands up.

Kevin grabs his hand and Mitch grabs mine.

Esther and all the crew guys join the circle.

Kevin starts leading the prayer and I can hear Mitch sniffling beside me.

"Amen."

We break apart

The doctor enters the room.

"We are ready for him if you are."

We all give Scott a kiss on his forehead and exit the room.

Mitch goes last and gives the longest kiss. 

He walks over to us and out the door, not wanting to look back at his best friend in the hospital bed.

"Does pizza sound okay tonight, guys?" Avi says.

"I'm not leaving." Mitch says.

"Mitch..."

"I'm not leaving!"

"Okay, okay, you can stay. Call us if you need anything." I say and kiss his forehead.

We would stay, but it's late and we don't know how long the surgery will take.

Mitch gives me a hug and goes to sit in the waiting room.

The others are waiting for me at the elevator so I run over to them.

"Mitch is staying. I'll make sure he eats."

"Okay. Maybe we should all just take a break for a while. We only have a few interviews left this week." Kevin says.

"Sounds good to me." I say.

"Alright, let's go."

We go out to our bus.

"I booked us another week at this hotel." Esther says, typing away furiously on her laptop.

"Esther, take a break," Avi says and shuts her computer. "We will figure everything out. Right now we need to sleep."

"You're right." Esther says.

We get to the hotel, feeling gross and exhausted.

Esther and I get in our room and shower, not saying much.

I get into bed and see an update on the PTX Twitter about Scott.

Nothing specific, because we're not sure what's going to happen yet.

I make sure Mitch ate at the hospital and go to sleep.

We will get through this.

I know we will.