Not....Again...No.

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This chapter is actually quite upsetting.... Thanks for all the votes and reads!

I still cant get my head around it, it was all a dream? I looked down at my innocent body, barley any bruises covered me, only the odd few that Harry had given me. The ones I thought Liam gave me werent there, I didnt feel as week as before. Maybe Liam isnt that bad after all? Maybe the real Liam is lost? I bet under the 'bad boy' Liam there is a soft Liam! I can kind of imagine Liam as a softie! By this time everyone had left apart from Niall. I need some time with my Nialler! "Im so glad you are alive!" Niall smiled, pulling me into a comforting hug.

I inhaled his scent with a deep breath. I am so happy to have him in my arms again. "Im so glad that im with you. I have missed this Niall... I have missed us."I admitted,  still holding Niall tightly. "When I thought you were gone..." He said, his eyes filling with tears. "I was broken." He finished, realising the hug to wipe his teary eyes.

"When I thouhgt I lost you, I couldnt stop crying. Without you Im nothing. Im nothing. Im just another worthless person, who no one wants." I explained, on the edge of crying.

"Dont you ever say that jess! You are not worthless!" Niall said, his voice raised a little.

"Look at me... Im ugly, fa-"

"Stop it." Niall growled slightly.

"Why? Its not like anyone would care if I went missing." I cried.

My eyes were burning as the tears streamed down my face. As I cried it bought back memories. Memories of my family, my perfect family I once had. If we could only turn back time (*see what I did there readers?;)*) My life was everything I wanted... well at the time I didnt think that, but now... I would do anything to get it back. The more I thought the more I cried. "Should I leave you? I dont likes seeing you like this." Niall asked, looking sorrowful.

"Please..." I said, crying.

I needed some alone time, some time to think and cry. And with that Niall kissed my cheek and left the basement. "I love you." Niall said, before shutting the door.

"I love you too." I murmured.

Thoughts were circling my mind, over and over again. (*I done it again!;)*) My parents, my brother. I never thought life without them would be this difficult. I could end this all now...  and the pain will be gone. I would be free from this.... But if i did end it, there would be no  'me' , no Jessica Louise Smith. No way am I killing myself! I cant. Then hit me, the bathroom, the blade, the pain and sorrow. I promised myself I wouldnt do it again... but... no there is no buts! I cant... not again. A promise is a promise. Was there another way to mend me? If only I knew... I need a hug.... a big hug... not just any hug...not a hug from Harry... not even Niall.

But my Mum.

~Alessia <3

This is actually a really sad chapter:( I nearly cried, and I wrote it! keep voting guys! I love you all:) Tomorrow I am so busy so I cant update:L I am so sorry about my poor updating... its just school and homework and clubs! Sorry!

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