California Dreaming

Santa Barbara, California

I was driving quietly on my way to Santa Barbara. Markus and Hally were sleeping at the back quietly whilst Shannon was still awake looking at the view ahead of her. She watched the cars pass us while I drove. I sipped my coffee slowly as I felt its luscious taste go down in my throat.

"Katy, do you want me to drive? You're tired, you should take a break. It's night and you should get some sleep." Shannon placed her hand in my lap.

"No Shann, it's okay. I'm good. It's just a couple of hours until we arrive in Santa Barbara." I replied to her. She nodded.

"So um... How are you? It's been a long time we've spent time together." She said.

"I'm great but busy. How about you?" I focused my sight on the road.

"Good. I spend most of my time writing and reading books, it refreshes my mind." She looked at me.

"How about Hally? How is she?"

"Busy like me. She's been busy every single day, I mean sometimes we only get to see each other when I tuck her in bed. But sometimes I don't get to talk to her in the night because I find her sleeping on the table. She's been studying and pushing herself. I can't stop her from working." I said to her.

The look on Shannon's face was upset. She could feel what I was feeling. It's pretty strange that sometimes she could read my mind and know what I'm feeling like right now. Shannon gives great advices that it's hilarious and amazing at the same time because it seems like she's always right.

"I really want to spend time with her. I feel like these past couple of days we're separated from one another. I mean, we're not fighting or anything but it's just I'm not used to the fact that we're not spending enough time with each other. We barely even get to watch a movie or talk for an hour on the living room. As much as possible I want to spend time with her but when I do, it doesn't seem right. We end up going our separate ways and do the work we do. I miss her Shannon." There was complete sympathy on Shannon's eyes. She was looking at me. I could feel tears welling up my eyes but I fought hard not to let them fall.

"I'm so sorry, Kate. I understand you, I know the feeling what it's like to miss the bond that you once had with someone but at some point it's not present at the moment even when you're with that person." She held my hand tight and rubbed her thumb through it.

"I sometimes feel like it's my fault but I can't completely blame myself right? I don't want to push her away from what she's doing but all I want is just for us to bond together again. One of the reasons why I wanted to go on a road trip was because of this. I wanted to spend time with Hally. I wanted her to know that no matter what work I do, I can still put her before it and manage to spend time with her." I said.

"Kate, I understand you and I know how much this road trip means to you. I know you want this to be great and memorable. Don't worry it will be, trust me." She continued rubbing her thumb in my hand.

I glanced at her then carried on focusing my sight on the road.

"Do you think she pushes me away?" My question was unexpected. It came out of my mouth unexpectedly, I wasn't planning to say it.

"I don't know, Kate. I'm afraid I guess yes, not in such a way she hates you but it's because of her studies." She replied softly.

"Well, that's what I feel. But I tell myself that she just wants to focus that's all." I felt tears trickle down my face, I wiped it away quickly but I caught Shannon looking at me.

"Katy, it's okay. Everything's going to be okay. You and Hally will be able to sort this out. I guess you have to talk to her about this and I know how much this pains you." She held my hand tighter than before. I nodded back at her.