Eleanor & Me

49 - Demons

49 - Demons

When you feel my heat, look into my eyes. It’s where my demons hide. Don't get too close, it's dark inside.

I gazed at myself in the mirror at Wilhelmina’s office once more, –like I had been doing for the past hour or so- trying to understand why this had happened to me, trying to find a logic explanation to the why of it.

But the longer I stared at myself in the mirror, the least I thought about that. Instead, my thoughts had divagated into how good I looked in short hair. Sheryl indeed had done me a favor. And I could not wait to rub it on her face. That would be the best payback ever and she would be so pissed off that her malefic plan did not work. And that would bring me a satisfaction I no longer felt embarrassed or a bad person for having. In Rihanna’s words, I may be bad but I’m perfectly good.

I smiled at my reflection, happy with what Manolo had done with my hair. He was right; this was the chance to make a radical change. He had chopped it all off, so there was nothing to link me to the old Brittany. I had only like two or three inches of hair, and it felt so liberating. It was very Twiggy-style inspired and it made me feel more stylish than ever. I could do anything without having my hair on my face of blocking me someway, thing I had always secretly hated.

And the best part? It required a lot of confidence to be worn, and I had it now! I felt like a new person, and I was sure I looked like that. You know how a person changes when they realize they have the power? That was exactly what had happened to me. I thought it only happened in movies, but here I was, living it for myself.

I suddenly understood I was here because I was beautiful, and that to be able to take advantage of that beauty, first I had to find my internal beauty and get it to shine and everything would just come along. And I personally believed I had found it and got it to shine. My new best friend –the mirror- said so as well.

“Sheryl is gone. Just like Georgia,” someone said, getting me out of my thoughts and making me turn around and look at who it was.

Even though I knew exactly who it was before turning around, doing it was just a formality. That voice would be burnt into my mind forever as the voice that tortured me and took me down when I was at my best. But I wanted to make sure I was not only imagining it, because she was talking to me. Not insulting me, or making fun of me, or the one that hurt the most, ignoring me.

Eleanor’s gaze bore into mine and I stared at her in disbelief.

What had suddenly changed?

Why was she talking to me again?

Why had she acted like she cared when Sheryl cut my hair earlier today?

Why? Why? Why?

“What? How? When?” I questioned, confused by what she had just said but determined on getting every answer I had wanted for so long from her, today.

No more waiting, I was done with that. Today, Eleanor would pay for everything she did to me. No mercy, I was going to get her to explain and then I would pay her back with the same, ignoring her and living my life to its fullest. I was not going to let anyone ever again put me down, and she was on top of that list. She would no longer affect me like she had before; I would never allow that to happen again.

“Richard found out about what she did to you,” she elaborated, seemingly understanding my confusedness at her statement moments before. There was something in her eyes that I could not understand, but today I would. “She is inside with him right now filling the papers for her resignation,” she carried on.