Eleanor & Me

43 - Broken Ones

43 - Broken Ones

Just remember that we’ve all been broken once! So let's love the broken ones.

It turns out Kaya and I do have things in common. I was delighted by that, I really needed a change from the hell I am living in. Not many people would understand what it feels like to live with someone who despises you. But leaving that aside, I had a lot of fun and take in consideration that we only had a coffee and a muffin.

Let me tell you, that muffin was delicious. The best blueberry muffin I have ever had in my life. The café was a place Kaya knew and took me to –Starbucks is overrated, or so we thought at the last minute. But man, that is my new favorite café. The vibe it gives, the people, the decoration, and the food. It is perfect. I finally found my spot. It is like the place where the world stops, where I feel like there is no hatred, no pain. That is the place where I am in peace with myself.

Today I am finally chilling, the weekend is here, and I finally have someone to spend it with. I love being a model but it can be so exhausting as well. This past week was so tiresome. I had photo shoots everywhere, interviews, helping the new girls with their portfolios. And on top of all of that, Eleanor always finds her way into my life, but just to ruin it. I try to ignore it, but how can you ignore something that hurts you so bad?

I relax in my bed as I take a sip from my tea when my phone starts buzzing. I smile widely when I see the ID of the caller. It feels so good to finally have someone. Anyone could make me happy now. “Hey. What’s up Kaya?” I ask, answering cheerfully because she is calling. It feels so good to have another contact on my phone besides the ones from work.

“Hey. Not much. Just calling to see if you have anything to do in this crappy and boring weekend.” I could almost see her staring at her nails right now and that made me giggle.

“No, not really. I was planning on chilling with a mug of tea all day as soon as I get to the apartment,” I confessed with a sigh.

There was a huge grin plastered on my face, though.

I had almost forgotten what it felt like to have friends.  She was so true that I did not even mind trying to lie to her. She is very perceptive anyway; I bet she knows Eleanor and I are not really getting along. But she is so nice that she would never say anything about it. If we ever discuss that topic, it will be when I am ready. And I have this thing that I always talk about my feelings; I cannot keep them to myself. But with this ‘Eleanor thing’ I have been hurt pretty badly and I really try not to talk about it. But I am getting to trust Kaya so much that I think this conversation will come along pretty soon.

“Great to hear that. Get ready to go shopping. You need to spend some –if not all- of your paycheck in clothing to celebrate how great you’re doing. I mean, all these companies love you. You will have to get more sleep and less party and hanging out with friends though,” Kaya said through the phone as I exited a studio from my latest photo shoot.

Lately I have been so busy with all of this that I barely even go to the apartment. Thing which must really delight Eleanor.

I could not help it and laughed. “What friends?” and the saddest part was that it was a bitter laugh, like the kind I use lately.

“All your friends…”

“I have no friends, Kaya.”

I heard her sigh on the other side of the phone; she was probably trying to understand me, to understand this. “I’ll see you in that café,” she said after a while and I just nodded, as if she could see me.

“See you there.”

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The day with Kaya was a lot of fun. We shopped until our feet were sore and I had a lot of trouble getting the bags up to the apartment. Imagine living in a building that has no elevator and having twenty three bags full of clothing, accessories and other miscellanies – and no, I am not overreacting, I counted them before parting ways with Kaya.

I had to take a step at a time, and in each step the bags somehow tried to slip out of my grasp and fall. And I knew if one of them fell, as I tried to pick it up, all of them would fall. And what was worse of all was that I could not get any help. My phone was out of my reach and no one freaking walked up those stairs today. No one was around. Probably everyone was still sleeping. Or just hanging in their apartments or where out. Whatever it was, I cursed it because it took me almost an hour to get to my apartment.

I was very loud as I opened the door because all of the bags finally fell, it was as if it was doomed to happen that way and I begged Eleanor would not kill me for that. I heard a conversation that abruptly stopped as the bags made their way to the floor and closed my eyes tightly for a while, wishing earth would swallow me. But it was worse when I opened them because Louis appeared in front of me and just then I realized I had interrupted them. If there was something worse than interrupting Eleanor with a friend of hers, it was to interrupt her with her boyfriend.

“Do you need help with that?” Louis asked me kind of amused but a tad bit worried and just then Eleanor appeared behind him. Her facial expression was unreadable. And that facial expression made me gulp.

“No, not really.” And just as I said this, the last couple of bags fell and I stumbled and nearly fell.

“You sure?” he said while chuckling and approaching me. I tried to smile but I was self conscious all the time and staring at Eleanor, just waiting for her to snap at me.

I searched for Eleanor’s eyes but she just dismissed me and helped her boyfriend pick up bags. And I knew she was doing it just because Louis was there, if we had been alone she would have just walked away. As I saw us three picking up bags, I could not help but wonder how the hell I had done to get all of them up the stairs by myself. Guess I am stronger than I thought. I just wish I was stronger in other aspects.

“How did you get all these up by yourself?” Louis asked as if he had read my mind, oblivious to the awkwardness that filled the air, just like every time I was in the same room than Eleanor.

“I have no idea,” I answered bluntly.

“Did you go on your own?” And at the appearance of this question, Eleanor’s eyes immediately met mine. Apparently she had interest in knowing if I had any friends. I hesitated on answering because what if she just wanted to know to screw my friendship up? “Brittany?” Louis said, meanwhile Eleanor and I were on a different dimension lost in our own thoughts, which I was quite sure were similar, if not the same.

I shook my head and came back to reality, making her do so as well. “Sorry, I … I went with a girl I met.”

“Oh, making new friends every day, huh?” he said with a huge grin on his lips, as if he was happy for me. And that got me thinking. Why was he happy for me and his girlfriend treated me like shit?

“Not really,” I said, and when I did I looked straight at Eleanor. She cleared her throat and took the bags she was carrying to her room, leaving us two behind. He frowned in her direction and then looked back at me. I smiled and walked past him. It was something he would need to know one day, but today was not that day.

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Hey! Sorry for taking so long to update, this story is different from the others, it is more difficult to write. But i hope it is good enough for you. 

I want to thank you guys for not pressuring me to update, I love you all very much. Enjoy, leave comments and...be free!