A Gangster Love Story

Special Chapter: The Lost Years II

Janine POV

"What do you want to eat babe?" tanong ni Keith. Nasa isang three star restaurant kami kasi anniversary namin as husband and wife.

"kahit ano basta nakakabusog" ang hirap talaga pag buntis, feeling ko lahat pwede kong kainin..kahit si Keith hihi.

"I asked Lance to come, susunod daw siya with Hannah and Kobe" I smiled. I miss being with those two, ilang taon na din simula ng huli naming pagkikita, it was on Ace's death anniversary. I think Kobe is only one year old when we last met, ngayon five na siya, ang bilis naman ng panahon. Nakakamiss talaga yung cute na anak ni Lance and Hannah, sa Skype ko lang yun nakikita tsaka sa facebook.

"babe, I have to pee, saan ba yung cr dito?" sabi ko. Ewan ko ba lagi na lang ako naiihi, dahil ba buntis ako? hmm..

"Just go straight ahead then kanan, dun ang cr, do you want me to go with you?" tanong niya. Kahit kelan talaga tong asawa, gusto niya lagi akong kasama at ayaw niyang nawawala ako sa paningin niya.

I pinched his nose.

"Ang sweet mo babe pero kaya ko na to," I gave him a peck on his lips bago ako umalis.

I love my life. Siguro nung una ang hirap mag adjust because I was still in love with my half brother but because of Keith I learned how to move on.

Nang makarating ako sa cr napapailing na lang ako, naaalala ko kasi nung mga oras na ayaw ko na, na gusto ko nang hiwalayan si Keith, hindi niya ako iniwan. Nagmamakaawa siya na aayusin niya lahat, he begged me to give him chance to love him. Nung mga panahon na yun, I was so in love with Kyo and I was going crazy not having Kyo. Wala akong gustong makasama kundi si Kyo lang. It was like my world revolved around Kyo and when I heard na pinakasalan niya si ate Alodia, my heart was crushed...

and I committed suicide. I almost died but Keith was able to save me, naghihingalo na ako nun when he brought me to the hospital. He stayed and he listened to all my rants. Sinabi ko kung gaano kasakit na mawala ang lalaking mahal na mahal ko, sinabi ko na hindi ko kayang magmahal na iba kundi si Kyo lamang, sinabi ko na hindi ko siya kayang mahalin, sinabi ko na iwan niya ako, sinabi ko na kung mawawala si Kyo sa buhay ko eh ayoko na ding mabuhay pa, madami pa akong sinabing masasakit na salita sa kanya but what Keith did?

He just listened. Umiiyak pa siya nun pero hindi siya nagsasalita, when I was done ang sabi lang niya, "I'll love you no matter what, I'll stay" nung mga oras na yun natanong ko sa sarili ko, bakit? bakit hindi ko magawang mas mahalin ang lalaking ito?

After a few months, nalaman ko na buntis na si Alodia, it was like all hope I have in having Kyo ay nawala na. My soul was ruined. My heart was shattered into a million pieces. Umiiyak ako, gabi gabi, natuto din akong mag-inom. My father slapped me once and it was the only time that he hurts me, kasi habang nag iinom ako I sleep with some guys. I was a wrecked. I was so messed up considering na asawa ko na si Keith nun. Keith is not a saint, dalawang beses akong iniwan ni Keith. First, nung nalaman niya na I hooked up with a friend of his, iyak siya nang iyak nun, he didn't do anything kinuha niya lang ang gamit niya sa bahay and he said "I lost, ayoko na". He didn't came back after a few months...pero bumalik siya eh.

When he heard that I got in car crash. I thought I was going to die but I was rushed to the hospital and I was saved and when I opened my eyes, si Keith ang kauna unahan kong nakita. Hindi ko alam kung ilang beses ko nang nakitang umiyak si Keith pero yung iyak nung mga panahon na yun, sobrang nasaktan ako. What am I doing? There's a man who loves me so much, why am I ruining his life? Why am I ruining mine?

Bumalik kami sa dati, husband and wife. We're casual but no romance at nung mga time na yun I crave for him, I crave Keith to be sweet again, to be with me always. Akala ko he didn't loved me anymore.