To Mend The Broken Heart (Snape/Student Love Story)

Chapter Nine: The Discussion

CHAPTER NINE

The space that separated us burned into me. I wanted so badly just to reach out and hold him, to close the space between us.

Then there was a knock at the door. Instantly, we lept apart, and I blushed even harder as I took a quick seat at the nearest desk, and Professor Snape yelled for them to come in. It was Professor Moody with yet another potion request. Professor Snape angrily accepted and shooed him away, leaving the two of us alone again, only now things are awkward. Damn it! Why hadnt I simply done something before? Why must I always hesitate, and end up in a bad situation?

"I-I should ask my father about staying... Break is day after tomorrow..." I murmured. I should start the letter, but this was just an excuse to leave. I had some things to think about. He nodded, not looking at me. We were both utterly confused. After I wrote the letter, I realized I had no owl to send it with. Bloody hell. Perhaps Headmaster Dumbledore will allow me use of his? Well, it was worth a try.

I padded up to his office, which was this time empty of all but him, and he looked up at me over his half moon specticals with a small smile. "Ah, hello Claudinia. How can I help you this evening?" He asked me nicely. I approached his desk, the letter firm between my two pinching hands. "I would like to send a letter... But I have no owl... I was hoping... Could I use yours...?"

Dumedores old horse voice answered quickly. "Of couse, of course, child." He said, rising from behind his desk and moving to his owl. ""And who may I ask, is this letter addressed to?" I followed him, head bent down, and replied quietly. "My father, sir." I told him. Surely he knew nothing, but his face darkened a bit at the mention of my father. I wondered if Prodessor Snape told. No. He wouldn't, I decided. "Very well," He opened his hand to me and I placed the much-considered letter in it. He gave it to the owl, who took off immediately. I bowed. "Thank you, Headmaster Dumbledore."

"Ah, my pleasure, Claudinia." He huffed as he sat back down at his desk. I moved to the door. "Claudinia?" He stopped me. I turned back around, a little worried. "Y-yes, sir?"

Dumbledores expression was quite serious all of a sudden. Could he want to speak with me about my father? Could that really be it, that he has known this whole time? What if it wasn't Professor Snape who told him? What if he just knew? I swallowed back the fear and nervousness rising in my throat. "You take a preticular liking toasted Professer Snape, yes?"

Was that it? No abusive father talk? I nodded. "Oh yes, Professor Snape is a wonderful person- he has helped me get over my fears. Why, without him-" I stopped short. He wasn't just implying that I liked him as a student likes a teacher, but as more. There was no way though, right? No way he could know this fast? Why, it all just happened within the hour! But I knew he WAS implying just that. "What do you mean, Headmaster?"

"Severus has never had companionship. He is a very lonely, cold man. No one has ever loved him." He began. "However, I can see you breaking through that icy complexion. Chipping away the frost bit by bit. No one has ever been able to do that, save one person in preticular, who only managed to increase the damage in the end." that last part stumped me, but he went on again. "I can see that he takes to you very much, as well."

"Headmaster-" I began, not even sure what I was going to say. Deny it? Beg for mercy? Ask what I should do? He, however, cut me off. "Just be aware of your actions. Do not get Ito something you plan on abandoning. He canning take that pain again."

Again... So he has been in this situation before. Was it with a student, or someone else? Should I ask him? Would he even answer me? He would most likely get angry. It wasn't even my business. Then his memories trickled back to me. The little red headed girl. The girl again, older now. The emotions that filled him at the sight of her. She was everywhere in his memories. He held her dead body, sobbing. He loved her.

"I understand, Headmaster... I... I won't... I d-don't want to hurt anyone..."

"I don't believe you will. But be careful you don't hurt yourself." He warned.

The letter arrived the next day, vulgarly denying my request to stay here at Hogwarts. I chastised myself for even asking. Father will be mad with me.

In my room, I packed away my things. Then it hit me: what about Nightgown? She will be left here, all alone, with no one to care for her. I surely couldn't take her home. Perhaps if I asked someone to care for her? But who? Everyone is going away.

Maybe I COULD take her home with me. She wouldn't be alltok much trouble, and father wouldn't even notice if I kept her in my room. He probably wouldn't care, anyhow. But I'll keep her a secret, just in case.

I packed away things I may need- a small black suitcase filled with two skirts and sweaters, a blouse, a pair of black loafers, two pairs of black socks, and three robes. I have clothes there at home, but I may need something. You never can be too careful, after all. I also hid a bag of food for Nightgown inside.

I sat on my bed, Nightgown curling up at my side, purring. I smoothed her hair. "What are you so happy about?" I asked her, knowing my question would go unanswered. She had no idea what was ins tore for us.

Tomorrow I leave. I just hope I can come back without damage done.