To Mend The Broken Heart (Snape/Student Love Story)

Chapter Eight: Seeing Through New Eyes

CHAPTER EIGHT

It's been five weeks. Five weeks since I began my lessons with Prifessor Snape, and five weeks since I made my first friend. I was now in a lesson, Professor Snape teaching me more on Occlumency. We had gotten comfortable with preying onto one smothers memories, knowing each others secrets. It's sort of a joint situation. He knows my secrets, I know his, and neither of us speak of any of it. Win win.

We have seemed to become almost something of friends now. I still can't see myself calling him anything but Professor Snape, and he still cas me by simply Miss Vitrosis. Nevertheless, we have formed a sort of understanding partnership. We both have had a preview into each others harsh lives. I learned that he had seen his parents die when he was nine, and that they never really lived him anyways. School was his getaway, though he was silent and sometimes bullied. Heearned all about my home life and my father. My muggle mother. The blame and shame cast onto me. The reasons I don't speak much. We are on equal grounds.

I haven't had any trouble with anyone yet, either. Draco gives me glares often, though those are easily ignored. I've been hanging around with the usual crowd a lot, too. Luna and I have grown close, best friends almost. I even have plans with her this weekend, a few days from this Thursday evening.

"Block me out." He said sharply. I've learned to buffer off his harsh tones. I'm used to it with him, now. I nodded. He shot the spell out at me. I evaded with a binding spell. He congratulated me. There was ligitimate praise in his voice, though it was small and hidden. "Well done, Miss Vitrosis." He recognized. This was the first time I had ever successfully evaded with a counter attack on him. I grinned from ear to ear. "Oh, Professor! Thank you! I'm doing so well!"

He nodded in agreement. "Yes. Your accelerating quickly. Now all you have to do is use it without hesitation."

Hesitating before an attack was my only weakness. I was fast and powerful, but I sometimes was scared, and it only took a second to fall victim. Practicing with one of the most powerful Professors here helped me a lot. "Yes, well, I know I can do it now." I told him wiu confidence. I won't let him down. A small part of my thirsted for trouble, just so I could show him my strength.

"Then that's all." He told me, walking back to his desk. I was confused. "What do you mean... 'Thats all'?" I asked him. He straightened a stack of papers without looking up. "I mean that your done. You don't require lessons any longer." He clarified. Done with lessons...? But, I wasn't ready to be weened off his knowladge and training courses yet! was he trying to ge out of the lessons? did he not want me around any more? The thought sent a twinge of hurt through me.

"But... I'm not ready..." I contradicted him. He raised his brow. "You said you knew you could do it now. Your ready."

Stupid. I'm so stupid. Why would I say something so ignorant and proud? Now he thinks I don't require his help any longer. How will I prepare myself mentally? How will I practice without him? "But who will I practice with, Professor Snape?" I didn't have any one who would be able to help me, seeing as the rest are just studnets or teachers I'm shy of. Professor Moody is a bit of a loose screw, and no one else Is really a fighter. I needed Professor Snape. It may be selfish, but I needed him.

"You will figure it out. Your an intelligent girl." He told me dismissivly, still looking down. I was hurt. I ran up to him behind his desk, catching him off guard. He stared down at me. "I need your help! No one else can help me! And you know everythig we have went over. Who else can halo me practice Occlumancy? I don't want any one else to know my secrets." I blurted in a rush. My mind was a private place, broken into only by him from a surprise attack. If I could choose it, I wouldn't want any one else to know those secrets I kept so deeply hidden. They were mine. Private.

Professor Snape looked down at me, his expression unreadable. "You have no need for practice. Your excellent in the area." He argued. Our eyes were still tightly locked. His deep, unknown black eyes. So full of secrets and darkness, hair and pain, unhealed ragged wounds. I had the similar look in my eyes. Emptiness. The lack of love. Dim and bleakness. No gleam like others. We had the same rough past. He was the only one I could relate to, and I had a feeling I was the only one he could relate to.

"Fine. We will pick back up after Christmas break." He succumbed after a minute of silence. His words cut into my thoughts. I was completely dazed and in a whole nother place just then. Right. Christmas break. I dreaded to go home. Father never let me celebrate, much less get me gifts. That past memory of asking made me nervous. we usually didn't exchange one word over the break. I did t want to go home. Perhaps I could get permission to stay? It's not like he would miss me. "What if I got permission to stay? Will you be here?" I asked him.

He wasn't expecting that. "I have no plans." He replied in hazy details. I nodded. I don't want to go home anyways. Not like my father would notice." I didn't even realize the painful words until they came out. I covered my mouth. Why had I just said that? My cheeks went red. "Sorry, Professor-"

"Dont appologize. There is nothing to be sorry for." He told me. I nodded. "Thank you, Professor Snape." there was a moment of silence again between us, and my stomach tingled. What was this feeling? I leaned forward the slightest bit.

I didn't even notice that I had moved. We were only a few inches apart, and my breath was shallow, skiing down. He was so warm. We wernt even touching, yet I could feel the heat from his body on mine. "Professor Snape..." I trailed off, unsure what to say now. It seemed like I should say something, yet speaking wouldn't feel right in a moment lime this. He didn't say a word. We stood like that for the longest time. I didn't know weather to leave, or speak, or mover closer even. I knew what I wanted to do, but I was so afraid of making a mistake, and making Professor Snape hate me. I couldn't take him being asha Ed or disapproving of me. I would rather die.

I was looking down at the floor between us, unsure where my eyes should be. My cheeks were hot, and I knew if I lookedminto those eyes, my entire body would blush. "I trust you." I told him in perfect words, no murmuring or stuttering, though it was a whisper. I was proud and shocked that my words were unmarred by impediments. He said nothing for a few seconds, then spoke finally.

"You shouldn't." He told me, voice hard. It wasn't his usual gruff tone, though. It was kore of a warning. Like he was holding back something. I shook my head, daring to look up into those eyes. "I know. But I can't help it. I do."

I wasn't sure what would happen next. This had all happened so fast, yet time seemed to stop. I jut admitted my deepest secret to him. What would he say back to me? Did he have any sort of feelings for me, like I did for him? Feelings that were so wrong, yet so, so right?

I felt the need to push my case. "I've never felt like I had anyone to confide in. No one that could understand me, what I've gone through, or that would understand me. But you do. I feel like I can tell you anything." I admitted.

"I know." He told me. He knew? What does that mean? He knows that I feel this way, or he knows because he feels the same way? DOES he feel the same way?

"I do to know what to do." I admitted to him. He looked so vulnerable now. So fragile and breakable. Like he could shatter into a million prices if I touched him.

And oh, how I wanted to touch him. My blood burned and boiled within me, just to reach out and hold him, to feel his skin and his hair. To feel his powerful arms around me.

What would happen now?