The Little Mistakes (boyxboy)

Chapter 46

By the time school started back up again it was a Thursday, so we only had to attend for two days before it was the weekend again. I thought for sure both Patrick and I were going to have panic attacks. I was terrified of running into Rikert. I hadn’t had any sort of contact with him since that day I fell down the stairs. For all I knew, he could either be angry with me or feeling guilty as hell.

 

I knew Patrick’s reason for being worried was because he didn’t want me to get hurt or freak out without him around. Because, clearly, he couldn’t be at my side for every second of the day. But between Kieran, Patrick, Jaxon, Aria, and Phoebe I was pretty safe.

 

For the most part one or a couple of them who had class nearest to me would just walk me to my classroom and then pick me up after the dismissal bell rang. I was too anxious and panicked to even care about the fact that the whole thing made me look pathetic and weak. I just wanted to keep holding Patrick’s hand while I tried not to cry having every single other student staring at me the way they did.

 

I did make it through those first two days without seeing Rikert at all. His friends I saw plenty of times, but they clearly had no intentions of speaking to me. I was relieved about that.

 

It actually wasn’t until the following Monday--also, my last Monday in America--that I saw him. It was in the parking lot on our way into the building in the morning. Patrick had his arm around my waist, helping me hobble my way towards the large building since I’d abandoned the crutches a while ago. I had been looking down, watching me feet for a moment before I glanced up. And the very second I did so, I made eye contact with Rikert.

 

I lost all connection with my surroundings. Even from over a hundred feet away--dozens of cars and fifty students separating us--I was stuck frozen in place by his beauty and his control. Despite everything that happened, he still one. I still loved him and I’d do anything for him. And I swore to God he knew it. The way his eyes locked on mine during the three seconds I stood staring at him, told me everything. I was his and we both knew it.

 

As soon as I saw him, I stopped walking but Patrick didn’t. His arm accidentally kept pushing me forward. It all happened so fast and then I was sprawled out on the cement ground. Patrick made a huge fuss, and Aria was helping me up immediately. But I couldn’t stop shaking. Once I was on my feet, I looked around, desperately trying to find Rikert again.

 

I was scared of both the possibilities that I wouldn’t see him again, and also that I would. I wanted him, but I was afraid of him all the same. He hurt me more than anybody ever had before, but he also loved me more than anyone else had. It was confusing and it caused my breath to catch in my throat, my chest to constrict in pain, and head start to throb.

 

I whipped my head from side to side, hoping I could see Rikert again. I wanted to see those green eyes, his gorgeous face. I wanted to hold his hand and wrap my arms around him so he’d never leave me again. I wanted to beg for his forgiveness; for him to take me back. I wanted him to swear on his life that he’d never hit me again and actually mean it. Because I needed him badly. And I hadn’t even realized how much until I finally got to see him again.

 

But Rikert was gone. I couldn’t find him, and I couldn’t breathe. I was successfully freaking out until the moment Patrick grabbed my shoulders and forced me to look at him. I stilled under his hands and flitted my eyes frantically over his face, attempting to calm myself down.