The Little Mistakes (boyxboy)

Chapter 9

There were only two things on my mind. Scratch that, there were only two people on my mind. Rikert and Kieran. I had been up most of the night, utterly unable to get them out of my head. Now, waking up, I realized they were still occupying my thoughts.

I blinked tiredly and checked the time on my phone. It was five-thirty in the morning. I rolled onto my side, wishing I didn’t have school so early. I dropped my phone as a dream came rushing back to me. My jaw dropped.

Flashes of images with me and Kieran in compromising situations were going through my head. His lips on mine, hands tangled in my hair. Another one with us naked in his bed as we made out. I slapped myself in the face. I could feel myself getting turned on by just thinking about being with him.

Then I recalled another image. It was one that made me want to stay home for the rest of my life. It was of Rikert kissing me roughly and throwing me onto a bed before attempting to rip my clothes off. And in my dream, I had enjoyed every second of what Rikert was doing to me.

My heart was pounding in my chest. If I wasn’t turned on by the thought of getting with Kieran, the idea of fooling around with Rikert had me harder than ever. That pissed me off and scared me at the same time. I had never been more confused about my sexuality in my life. And dreaming about someone as big of a prick as Rikert made everything worse.

I threw myself out of bed and hopped right into a cold shower. I had to get rid of my little problem and there was absolutely no way I was going to do that the other way. Especially not while I was thinking of Rikert naked. Or Kieran naked, for that matter.

I skipped breakfast, only going upstairs when I knew we would have to leave right away. I avoided eye contact with everybody, particularly Patrick. I didn’t even say good morning to Phoebe and Aria when they got in the car. I just couldn’t bring myself to speak to them. I was much too mortified.

The four of us walked into school together. I kept my eyes on the floor in front of me. I didn’t want to look at anyone, I didn’t want to see them staring at me and judging me.

I slammed into hard flesh and landed flat on my back on the floor. The air was knocked out of me, and my head smacked off of the tiling. I groaned in pain and rubbed the back of my head. I could already feel the bump starting to grow.

I looked above me through half-slitted eyes. Then they went wide as I saw Rikert. My cousins were standing around us, unsure of what was going to happen. I looked into Rikert’s eyes. My cheeks flushed a deep red as I remembered everything from this morning.

Rikert gave me an odd look. Then he narrowed his eyes. “Watch where you’re going,” he said. He gently kicked my leg before he stepped over me and walked away.

Phoebe and, to my surprise, Patrick each grabbed one of my hands and pulled me back to my feet. People in the hall were watching us. Aria and Patrick gave a few of them dirty looks to get them to turn away. Patrick grabbed my arm tighter than necessary and yanked me along down the hall with the girls following behind us.

I angrily pulled my arm from his grip after a minute. “Leave me alone!”

“What is your problem?” Patrick asked me.

I pushed him away. “Just back off.”

“How many people are you going to fight with, Cay?” he asked. “You need to calm down!”

I glared at him. “Don’t call me that,” I hissed. That name was reserved for people I actually liked. Patrick didn’t fall into that category. “I do what I want!”

I stomped away from them all. After that humiliating run-in with Rikert, I was so done. I wanted to be left alone. Not even the thought of talking to Phoebe was appealing.

I went to one of closest bathrooms. I tossed my bag onto the counter and looked in the mirror. My face was still red. I cursed at myself. Things kept getting worse and it was driving me crazy. I turned the faucet on and splashed some cold water on my face.

I heard the door open. I glanced over and saw Kieran walking in. I sighed and turned the water off. He tore a paper towel off and brought it over to me. I avoided making eye contact as I took it from him and began to dry off my face.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m sick of that question,” I said.

“You might be,” Kieran said. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t actually want to know.”

“I’m peachy,” I grumbled.

He leaned against the counter next to me. “I just ran into a really confused Rikert. I’ve only ever seen him like that around you.” I glared at my hands as I walked to the garbage can and tossed the towel in it. “Then judging by all the whispers in the halls, you also ran into him.”

“Do you have a point here?” I asked, finally looking at his face.

I tried not to think of anything other than the conversation at hand. We were alone in here and I didn’t trust myself. As Kieran’s eyes locked on mine, I could feel the blood rushing back into my face. I scowled at my own stupid self.

“Just wondering what’s going on with you two,” he shrugged.

“Nothing,” I said a little too quickly.

He raised a brow. “Right. Anyway, I really am sorry about what happened yesterday. I thought there were signals being sent and clearly I was wrong about that.”

I sighed heavily. I swallowed and looked back up at him. I wasn’t sure how much I was going to regret this, but a part of me really felt a need to tell Kieran what I was thinking.

“No worries. I guess I was kind of, uh, sending you signals,” I muttered, rubbing the back of my neck.

“I thought you said you were straight?” Kieran asked, crossing his arms.

“I am,” I said. “Er, I was. I don’t really know anymore.”

Kieran’s eyes widened. “Did I make you realize that?”

I frowned. “Don’t flatter yourself that much. It was only partially you. Look, I’m sorry I freaked out on you yesterday.”

Kieran smiled. “It’s alright. Of course, now my mom thinks I tried to take advantage of a poor straight boy. She almost grounded me.”

“Oh, shit,” I blurted. I started to laugh. Kieran smacked my arm. “I’m sorry. That’s kind of funny, though.”

Kieran smiled at me. “Yeah, it is a little. So...”

“I need your help,” I said without thinking.

“What?” he asked slowly.

I took a tentative step towards him. I gulped a little and licked at my lips. Kieran didn’t move as I walked up to him. Once I was close enough, I cautiously grabbed his arms just above his elbows to steady myself. We both looked at each other as if asking the same question: was I really going to do this?

I guess we got our answer when I closed my eyes and kissed him. It was short and sweet. Didn’t last longer than five or so seconds. When I pulled back, I studied his face. His eyes were still closed for a few more seconds. When he opened them, he smirked at me and placed his hands on my waist. He pulled me closer. Standing like this with a guy was new to me. But it felt right. I wanted rough and strong hands on me--something that only a guy could provide.

“Anything,” he mumbled quietly.

“I don’t want a relationship,” I said. “But I need to figure out what I am.”

“Done,” he said.

“You’re okay with that? With me using you?”

He smirked. “I’m a teenager. You’re asking me if I’m okay with having meaningless sex--”

“I didn’t say sex!”

“--of course I’m fine with it,” he said. “Only an idiot would pass up getting to introduce such a hot guy to the world of gay.”

I half smiled. “Just shut the fuck up and kiss me then.”

Kieran happily obliged, pressing his lips against mine. “Wait, what if someone comes in?” I asked, pulling back.

“I locked the door when I came in,” he breathed, lips brushing mine as he spoke.

“How did you know I was the only one in here?”

“I’m psychic. Now shut the fuck up and kiss me.”

I smiled. If he could be as much of an ass as I was, then this might actually end well. I kissed his lips, letting my guard down enough to enjoy this. Kissing someone was nice. It made me wish I hadn’t waited until I was nearly eighteen years old to get to experience this.

Kieran turned us and pushed me back into the counter. His hands traveled low and gripped tightly to my hips. He parted my lips expertly with his tongue. I was surprised at first, not really sure of what I was doing. But then I allowed his tongue free reign to explore my mouth and dominate the kiss.

After another couple minutes, the warning bell for first hour went off. Kieran groaned and pulled back enough to rest his forehead against mine. I was panting heavily, but it didn’t seem like he was that fazed. I guess he was used to all this, unlike me.

“Do we really have to go to class?” he asked.

I smiled. “Yeah, we do.”

He pressed his lips to mine firmly for one more slow kiss. “God,” he said as he pulled away. “There is no way I’m going to be able to stop thinking about kissing you while I’m in class.”

I felt something swell in my chest. Nobody ever liked me as a person before besides Eryn or family. To hear someone say that they thought I was attractive and that they wanted to kiss me made me feel good. I’d never had that before, and I enjoyed the feeling. I guess it was just nice to be wanted--lusted after--for once in my life.

“Thanks,” I mumbled awkwardly.

Kieran moved closer again. I leaned in to meet his kiss halfway, but he pulled back before our lips touched. “Second floor bathroom, farthest from the stairs,” he whispered huskily. “Nobody ever uses it, it’s a single bathroom. Meet me there before French.”

He grabbed my face and kissed me deeply, even using his tongue before quickly stepping back. He left the room, throwing me a shameless wink on the way, leaving me confused and breathless. But he also left me wanting for more. I rubbed my face.

“What have you gotten yourself into?” I muttered to myself.

Then the bell went off again. I swore under my breath and threw my rucksack over my shoulder. Of course, I had to be late for class after all that. I shook my head, secretly smiling to myself. Being gay just might be a good thing after all.