Justice, the 4th hunger games book, the story after mockingjay

Chapter Thirty-six

Chapter thirty-six

KPOV

“No!” I gasp as I watch the arrow fly towards its target, Peeta. “What have I done?” I sob not wanting to move to confirm I have killed my husband, the boy with the bread.

Oh how fitting that the boy with the bread, the baker, died with his last meal being bread.

Oh, how fitting that he died at my hand like everyone expected him to in our first games.

Oh, how fitting that it was my arrow when in our first games he told me to shoot him with my last arrow.

I can just imagine Paylors face, she must be screaming for joy as she watched me stalk my husband, knowing that I would kill him without realizing it was him.

Oh, what have I done?! I’ve killed my only reason for living.

“Peeta.” I mutter as the tears begin to fall. I want to move, go to him and check that he is dead. Maybe by some miracle my arrow missed him, I mean it is dark, but I cant’. It’s like my body begins to shut down not wanting to live without him.

I stare from my hiding place in the river at his unmoving body just praying that a twitch of his foot will indicate that he is still alive though I know this is never going to happen, my arrows never miss, through the eye and an instant death always. I have never missed, Peeta even pointed out how clean my shots were.

Oh why did I have to be so accurate with a bow, why did I have to never miss my target. If I was worse maybe he would still be alive and I would have missed him.

“I am so sorry.” I mutter through my tears the freely flow down my already water soaked cheeks dropping and merging into the flowing river surrounding me.

This is what the games does to you, turns you into someone you’re not, I am no killer. I don’t kill in cold blood, stalking human-beings the way I would stalk my prey. What have I become. They have changed me. The Capitol have change me into someone who will willingly stalk out a tribute and kill them in cold blood instead of evade them and allow another tribute to kill them. If I was anything close to how I was going into the first games I would have hidden, moved out of their path and pretended that I didn’t see them.

It hits home, the kids, they would have been watching, Gale and Haymitch, Johanna and the others. They have all just witnessed the cruel murderous act of me killing a father, husband, brother and friend.

“How can I go on?” I mutter to myself. “Fin, Rue.” I choke. “I am sorry.”

I pull out one of my knives and hold it to my wrist, and prepare to drag the knife over my skin and allow my blood to spill and mix with the tears and flowing water of the river.

I would have been able to go on and live with myself if he had died at any other tributes hand but that fact that it was me who had killed him, that I would never be able to live with and no one would ever forgive me. To be quite frank I wouldn’t even expect them to. I close my eyes and picture his face his smile. I take a deep breath imagining the smell of him, cinnamon and bread. I engulf myself in fond memories of our life together allowing the silence to surround me.

“I love you, Peeta.” I whisper as I apply the pressure to my wrist.

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Oh aren't I cruel! :) Hope you enjoyed! Next part will be up tomorrow so long as you let me know what you think! Vote, Comment!