Prompt by conbontroyeboy
"Connor suffers from a manic depressive panic attack/mania."
Trigger warning.
Connor's POV
I'm pacing again.
I could feel my legs aimlessly carrying me from one side of the room to another. I felt restless, my inability to relax beginning to agitate me for a second time today. I could feel my body buzzing, a weird tingling sensation that only went away when I was walking around, subconsciously fiddling with my fingers.
It was just after 6pm.
I knew that because I had listen to each tick of my watch for the past hour. It was loud today. I felt as if everything around me made a sound. I could feel myself tapping the sideboard, the repeated banging sound of my fingers on the wood the only thing I could register at this second, that and the ticking.
I needed to walk again.
I had too many thoughts rushing round. My mind felt as if it was going to explode if I didn't come up with a new idea, something for common culture maybe? I could see designs in my head, I could see words, so many words. I needed to think of new words, what if these weren't good enough? Why was I thinking of words? What if I could think of pictures instead?
I scrunched my hands into fists.
Stop. Stop pacing.
I needed to write something down.
I took my laptop, sitting for the first time today. I could feel my leg bouncing, shaking with adrenalin as I began to type. I tried to focus on the words I was writing but I couldn't help but stare at the way the laptop moved up and down, up and down, up and down.
"Stop moving!" I hissed, suddenly gripping at my jeans.
I needed to pace again.
I couldn't concentrate sat down.
"Con? Are you coming to bed? It's getting late." Troye was suddenly next to me, his hand was on my shoulder. It made me flinch.
When did he get here?
"Connor its midnight, what's going on?" He was speaking so loudly, I could feel his voice ringing in my ears. I covered them, staring forwards at the clock.
It couldn't be midnight yet, it was only just 6. I knew because I had counted. I had watched the hand of the clock, moving quite sluggishly onto each individual number. It had moved around the device exactly 60 times since the last hour I saw, and that was 5pm.
"Its 6pm." I stated, a confident smile gracing my lips. I could feel myself buzzing again, my precise counting unable to fool Troye. I focused on his lips as they dropped slightly, earning me a confused glare form my boyfriend.
"Connor darling, I promise you its 12am, look at your watch." I shook my head at him, not understanding how I could have been so wrong. I wasn't wrong. Maybe he was lying.
I pulled at my hair.
I felt numb. I needed to feel something.
"It is 6pm. It has to be 6pm. I counted every single minute which was 60 seconds and there are 60 minutes in an hour and it has now been precisely 63 minutes so it must be 6:03pm, because that is exactly 1 hour and 3 minutes from 5pm, when I started counting."
I could feel my breath quickening.
I needed to keep pacing.
"Con, I need you to calm down for me, let's sit you down okay?" I could feel his arms on me. I wanted to pull away from his grip. He was suffocating me. I felt him pull me down to the sofa, before kneeling in front of my legs.
