I would like to thank conbontroyeboy for writing half of this oneshot. I lost inspiration and didn't want to mess it up for you guys so she helped me out massively! So I give credit to Abbie's writing, because we all know how great that is!
Check out her stories! Well, you probably already have unless you have been living in a hole.
Thank you Abbie! LoVe YoU 💘
Troye's POV
He was sleeping.
He had been sedated just over 2 hours ago, and we were currently in the hospital, a place that I wasn't used to calling home.
His bipolar had been bad recently. I was sure that he had been close to a manic episode for the last few months, and my heart dropped to see him rocking back and forth, screaming for mercy as if something was ripping his mind apart.
I clasped his hand. It was still clammy from his earlier panic, and I traced my thumb across his bandaged finger, the one he had tried to bite through in his blind rage.
I couldn't even begin to imagine what he was thinking of. It was if he was a changed person when he was manic, his eyes unfocused, his expression distant and unaware.
I only had too look at him in the kitchen to tell he was sick again. He was usually so loving, but when he was suffering he turned cold, lifeless. As if he wasn't reachable.
What thoughts could posses him to think to that extent? It baffled me.
He slept peacefully, tucked under the covers of what looked like an uncomfortable bed. I reached over to brush back his hair, kissing the little bump on his forehead. He looked so fragile tonight, as if he were a child again.
He needed me, and I swore I would never leave him. He needed help when it got bad. He wasn't allowed to be alone.
I could see the sedation beginning to wear off. He would fidget now and again, tugging slightly on my finger, as I held his hand.
"Connie?" I whispered, rousing him from his slumber. He began to sluggishly peal open his lids, and suddenly I was faced with a pair of dull green eyes, a confused expression crossing them.
He was completely unfocused.
"Connor darling, you're okay. You're in the hospital sweetie." I cooed, trying to soothe his panic. His hand was shaking as it grew warm, and he fidgeted again, waking himself up.
"T-Tro?" He whispered, gripping my fingers. "T-Troye?" He was muttering, blind in a state of partial unconsciousness.
"I'm here. Calm down baby, everything's alright now." I brought his hand to my lips, kissing our intertwined fingers. He slowly pushed himself up against the pillows, suddenly accustomed to the scene around him.
"W-what happened?" He questioned, rocking slightly against the bed frame. He seemed anxious still, restless even. But he was in a better state now, more alert at least.
"You had a manic episode babe, we had to sedate you to stop you from harming yourself sweetheart." I tried to speak softly, understanding that he was very fragile right now. I could see his eyes dart around the room, and he clutched the scrunched up piece of bedding in his fingers.
He was freaking out.
"Connor, it's okay. I'm here. You're going to be alright." I moved from my chair onto the bed, taking a seat behind him. I pulled him into my embrace, letting him lay against my chest. He fidgeted like a child with nerves, and didn't realise as I pressed the button for assistance.
"Is everything okay?" A nurse walked through, holding a clipboard with a fake expression, a non existent curl of the lips and a tight hair bun, lined with Bobby pins.
"He's just woken up, he's restless and agitated." I spoke quietly, gently shushing him as he got worked up. He was whimpering into my chest, gripping onto my jumper.
He was obviously petrified.
"I'll get the doctor." She smiled, turning on her heals as if she couldn't leave quick enough. I suppose it was strange to work on a ward like this, for people like Connor. I suppose it was strange to work with someone who seemed physically fine, but mentally destroyed.
It was almost harder in my opinion.
"Connor, shhh, keep breathing deeply for me." It broke my heart to see him cry, and I held him closer than ever, as the doctor walked forward.
He sported a simple expression, grinning down at us as he handed a pill to me. It was a large looking thing, something I was sure that Connor hadn't taken before. I studied it, trying to read it's name from the red capsule.
"It's a mild sedative. It won't knock him out, it'll just make him want to sleep for a while. I think it's best, given his current situation." I nodded, handing it to Connor with some water. He wasn't paying attention to us, blindly gulping back the tablet before he thought about its actions. I let him take the cup, calmly sipping the water, as if it was a distraction to his panic.
I kissed his hair as he repositioned himself in my embrace, snuggling into my woolen jumper with a tearful yawn.
"Is it okay if I ask you some questions now, about Connor's condition?" The doctor took a seat on the chair I had previously used, looking up at me and my boyfriend with a cautious glare.
"Yes, of course." I replied to him, checking that Connor was very much asleep, before disclosing the information needed.
"Has this ever happened before?" He's asked, earning a worrisome nod. It had happened numerous times over the past year, hospitalisation only being used twice.
He was suffering a lot recently, his mind so preoccupied with the stress of his company, that he went into meltdown quite often. His bipolar was getting worse, and it worried me.
"Does Connor take medication for his bipolar?" The doctor pealed me from my thoughts, tapping me slightly on the shoulder as I became startled.
"Y-Yes. Antipsychotics along with his normal dose of antidepressants." I answered truthfully, baffled as to why the doctor began to frown. He rechecked his clipboard before standing, towering over the bed with his six foot figure.
"After doing blood tests, I can't see a single trace of any of those drugs in his system. " The doctor looked concerned, writing his findings down on the bottom of the file. I gulped back my own anxiety, staring hopefully at the man for answers.
"So, you don't think he has been taking them?" I voiced my thought, huffing slightly as I realised the real cause for this. If Connor didn't take his medication he easily became irritable, and of course prone to a manic episode.
What worried me was why. Why wasn't he taking his medication?
"I know he hasn't, unfortunately. The only thing we can do for now is put him back on the medication and you need to see that he takes them." The doctor told me. I nodded, swallowing harshly as Connor made a contented noise and nuzzled his nose into my chest.
He was so relaxed as he slept, and my eyes flickered down at his slumped form; it didn't shake as he slept, and he didn't whimper. I hoped he'd be okay after he actually took his medication.
I didn't think that I'd be able to deal with it if this happened again. He was my baby, and I hated to see him so fragile. I knew that he hated it too.
"Alright." I breathed out quietly, looking back up at the doctor. I realised that my response was a bit delayed, but my smile was more relaxed now that Connor was relaxed.
A single thought floated through my mind, putting the last few worries to rest.
He'll be okay.
Thank you again Abbie 💕
