Who Am I Now?

Chapter 7

ch 7

I woke up and felt his body wrapped around mine. Last night was amazing it was something iv never experienced it wasn't just sex it was me and him together as one. I'm so confused though I still love chase but this happened with josh ughy whats wrong with me. I am being such a whore. I have to decide soon I think I love them both whats wrong with me. As I'm freaking out on the inside josh wakes up.

"good morning beautiful"

I blush a little he put his hand lightly on his cheek "your so cute when you blush"

I giggle "thank you"

"no thank you" he says winking playfully

Then we both start laughing then he stops

"babe im sorry but I have to go I promised my mom I would watch alli today"

"awe ok"

He gave me a kiss and got up I couldn't take my eyes off of him he was so perfect. He left and I lay on my bed not wanting to move. But then shelly came knocking on my door."knock.knock"

"one min shelly"

I throw on an over size t-shirt and open the door

"hun could you watch the boys your dads out working and I just got called into work."

"sure thing I have nothing else to do but I need to take a quick shower"

"sure thing I have to leave in 15 min"

The whole day I watch the boys first they get me to play cops and robbers and guess who I was. The robber. For 5 year olds they were strong and tackled me a few times.

"jenny we want lunch!" Ben started to yell

"ok ok how about lunchables"

"yayayayaya" they both started yelling I laughed and got them their food. It was April so after they ate I let them play outside.

At the end of the day there was a hard knock on the door. I opened it and it was josh.

"i had to tell you good bye in person my mom has cancer and is being flown to Orlando because they have better help there I dont know when ill be back and I want to be with you but I dont want to hold you back so we will see were things are when i get back"

he hugs me and kisses me and leaves before I can speak. I close the door slowly and wisper wow to myself. What am I going to do now

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For the next four weeks I dont hear much from josh except saying how his mom is doing.This past week iv felt a little sick. I got the stupid flu bug thats been going around and it sucks but chase is on break and has taken care of me. I decided I just needed to let josh be and focus on chase he was my here and now. Sunday im feeling a little better but chase has to go im a little bummed but he is coming back next weekend. After he leaves I get dressed and decide to see what the gang is up to. I end up meeting connor his girlfriend emily nick and sam at the beach. Connor picks us all up me of course being the last one. We get to the beach and connor grabs the blanket I grab the bag of food and nick grabs the cooler. We were planing on stayin out all day and it was only 11. Sam strips of her top slowly reveling her bikini top trying to get connors attention and I felt bad knowing how bad she wanted him to see her as more than a friend. She gives up looks at me

"ok jen time for that to come off" she says pointing at my sun dress. "and get in the water"

I smile at her "fine ill take it off but im not getting wet" I say while taking my dress off

Nick laughs "thats what she said"

I smile at him "not to you"

We all laugh as he fakes being hurt

"ok your paying for that one"

he runs after me and I start running away. He finally catches me. I kick and scream.

"NICK LET ME DOWN"

He laughs "nope your going in the water"

"no nick please!"

He ignors my plea and runs into the water with me in his arms then throws me in the water once its deep enough. I come back up spiting out water and swim back to shore.

"nick I hate you!"

He smirks "anyone tell you your sexy when your mad and dripping wet"

I run after him and tackle him.

"what was that perv"

"i said I like you on top of me wet and in a bikini"

I blush a little and jump off of him. we all laugh and practically all try to kill each other at one point or another. We all decide to go over to the bon at 9 and of course tons of people surround me.The quarterback of the football team came up to me.

"hey jen looking good whats up"

"dude I could look like shit and you would say that"

"well now that you mention it you do look a little pale"

"haha thanks tons dylen"

"no prob babe so your shadows still not back"

"nope but he said he should be back soon"

"so are you guys fucking yet"

My mouth drops open "dylen!"

"what! You can tell he wants in your pants, considering most guys do"

I take a step closer "do you"

"maybe"

I get super close to his face like im gonna kiss him then pull away.

"sike!"

He laughs "ok jen not cool you know no guy could resist you"

I giggle "some can"

"maybe gay ones"

We both laugh really hard and thats when i notice the cheerleaders glaring at me mostly the head one. she comes over and steals dylen away. can you say jealous.We all finally head home at mid-night and I pass out on my bed.

The next morning I go down for breakfast shelly is already down there.

"your up early you know connor wont pick you up for another 2 hours right?"

"ya just woke up and feel amazing haha"

"ok then well im headed to the drug store need anything"

That sparks a thought in me and I start counting. Crap im a week late relax jen its only a week your just stressed out.

"darling?"

"mhm well actually shelly can I ask you a favor as my friend"

"of course hun"

I write down my request

Her eyes get big "oh umm ok"

"oh and dont mention anything to my dad"

"of course"

"thanks shell"

"ok bye hun"

I get ready for school trying not to freak its just stress and having the flu. I grabbed a hoodie and jeans and slipped them on i grab my bag and head down stairs to wait for connor.

Im freaking out all threw school what would I do if I was I mean im such a stupid whore I dont know which guy it would be...i guess I would make a decision if I really am I just hope to god im not. I get home and there it is on my bed. The thing that decides my fate. I finally get the guts to do it........im sitting on my bed the 5 min have past but I cant look. finally a take a deep breath and look down

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