Who Am I Now?

Chapter 5

A/n The restricted for this chapter is on my page

Ch 5

I start running the other way but he quickly catches up

"jenny please"

I turn around "what"

"I love you please just let me talk to you can we please go inside"

I sigh "fine"

We walk in my house and both just stand there then he starts talking

"jenny im so sorry I got so scared I thought I was losing you I love you soo much just please I need you"

I start wavering do I forgive him he knows everything and still loves me.

"chase I dont know"

He takes a step closer and I can barely breath

"jenny please I love you"

Before I know it his lips crash onto mine it feels so good. It feels so right. I press myself to him the best I could. He picks me up never breaking the kiss he takes me to my room and puts me on the bed i keep on trying to pull him closer I need him closer. He breaks the kiss and starts kissing my neck I start to moan I kept pulling at him I needed him. I pull his face to mine

"i need you...now"

I can tell that turns him on even more he grabs my shirt and takes it off then I rip his off to. I run my fingers over his.

We lay there with me wrapped in his arms. He kisses my forehead "i love you jenny, more then anything"

"i love you too"

I realise I cant let josh know about this, I dont know what he would do all I know is he wouldn't let it happen. I need chase. We lay there for hours me in his arms this time when my phone goes off I ignore it. He finally goes back home after I promise to go and visit him. When he is gone I check my phone and have 2 missed calls from josh. I call him back

"hey josh"

"hey is everything ok"

"ya just got caught up in homework"

"oh ok well wanna come out with me tonight"

I couldnt say no he would think something was up

"umm sure what time"

"Oh a half hour"

"josh you know im a girl right?"

"uh ya why"

"give me an hour"

"ok bye"

I run in the bathroom and take a shower. I get out and put on riped up jeans and a purple tank top with a lil lace on the neck of it. I scrunch my hair and dry it then just apply mascara thank god I had my moms good completion. I here him honk the horn so I grab my jacket and run out the door I get in the car and josh smiles

"you look beautiful"

I blush a little "no im not"

He reaches over and takes my face in his hands "dont ever say that any girl would kill to look like you and any guy would kill to be with you"

Im stunned no one has ever told me that with so much meaning behind it I could tell he meant every word.

"o-ok"

He smirks and starts backing the car out of the drive

"so do I get to know where we are going"

"your initiation"

"my what"

He smiles and doesn't respond oh great. We finally arrive at what looks like a privet part of the beach except there is a huge fire with a bunch of people around it. He comes around and opens the door

"welcome to Miami"

I laugh "umm ok"

"we have these bon fires once every month"

"oh cool beans"

He starts laughing really hard "cool beans?"

I slap him "yes gotta prob with it?"

"no your just so darn cute"

We get close to the people and josh yells "new be is here"

i look at him "I have a name"

He looks at me and laughs "I know but now they have something to ask you to start a convo you need more friends then just sam me connor and nick"

I sigh and then laugh "ok lets get the party started"

He takes my hand and we walk over to the people. After about an hour and a half and a billion people josh comes up behind me

"lets go for a walk"

"ok" finally a break from these people

We walk and after no one can see us he stops and looks at me

"jenny iv been so patient and I just cant hold back any longer"

Then his lips crushed on to mine I should have stopped him my brain told me to but my body wanted it and it felt like there was a force pushing us together. Its not like im cheating me and chase arnt officially back together. So I let him and I let him deepen the kiss I want more god knows I want more but he stops and I break out of my trance

"crap"

He looks at me worried "what"

"i cant do this to you"

"do what"

"bring you into my messed up life"

"what do you mean"

"you dont really know me"

"i know i really like you"

i had to break this now to keep him from wanting to be with me

"JOSH YOU DONT KNOW ME"

"damn it Jen then tell me what i need to know!"

"I Cant!"

"what so your gonna let that creep back in your life!"

i flinched a little, if he only knew

"maybe i will"

he looked so hurt i had to get out of there so i ran

and ran

and ran

until i couldn't any longer i collapsed on the side of the road. then a car pulled up. i got ready to fight if i had to, but i relaxed when i saw it was nick.

"want a ride"

"yes please"

i got in the car and he started driving it was comfortable silence until he spoke

"wanna talk about it?"

"not really"

"you know he really cares about you"

i felt the tears iv been holding in start to flow i always messed things up i love chase but what is it that i feel with Josh im so confused

"im damaged goods"

"arnt we all"

"not like i am"

"im sorry if i upset you"

after that we are both silent and he drops me off at home and we say goodbye.