Confessions of Your Friendly Neighborhood Lifeguard

Chapter Twenty One

"What do you mean?" I asked, my voice shaky. "Of course it was dad who-"

"Rae, I know you have alot of questions," my mom said, her voice equally weakened. "But I just need you to listen." I gulped and nodded slowly. "A year and a half ago when your father moved out, I did kick him out. I was the one who asked him to leave, but not because he had slept with his secretary. I kicked him out because he didn't fight for me when he found out about Brad. In the beginning, Brad was purely for- passion, nothing emotional. I think I did it to get your dad's attention, to see that he would be my hero and not give up on me. And when he didn't, I was heartbroken and I kicked him out.

"I was so upset that I'd made such a mistake, so upset that I lost your father... so embarrassed, that I couldn't tell you the truth. I took all my anger at on your father by telling you that he's the one who had the affair. Your father was so angry that he didn't know what I told you, why you weren't talking to him. It was stupid and immature and the biggest mistake of my life."

I hadn't realized but the tears were falling from my face like my eyes were Niagra Falls. I was sobbing, I was distressed, my beliefs in shambles. What my mom had told me, meant that I had cut out my dad for a year for something he didn't even do. Ignored him, hated him, even wanted him to die.. when he was an innocent man.I moved from my home, left all my friends for her. So that she could escape this all.  The anger that I had fought so hard to control in the recent weeks, bubbled inside of me. It was a fury I had never felt before. But when I opened my mouth to speak, to tell my mom what a horrible woman she was, I couldn't find no words. I was too devestated. 

"When we moved to Snow Beach, I told your father what I had told you," my mother continued. "He was upset, but he forgave him, not that I expected him too. Your father is a far more compassionate man than I. The wedge that I drove between you and your father killed me everyday, to know that I caused that. But, I couldn't bring myself to tell you the truth; I couldn't lose you like he lost you.

"After your father moved out, I hated Brad for what our relationship did to my marriage. But, it grew in to love. I love Brad. He bought us this house. He-"

"Are you telling me that Brad is the reason we moved out here," I spoke, this pushing me over the edge. "Not because you wanted to escape dad, but because the man you cheated on your husband with, wanted you to move! I left my life so you could come here with some home wrecking doctor!" I stood up from my bed, my fists lenched in to fists. My mom looked at me in horror, realizing my fury.

"Rae, I never wanted-"

"No, we are done here," I stated.

"Rae-"

"Get. Out." My mom's body shook as she stood from my bed. She started at my, our eyes connected, hers filled with tears and mine with hate. She mouthed the words "I love you" to me, but I did nothing in reply, only continue to glare. With that, she turned around, flying from my room, her hands in her face and her sobs audible from anywhere in the house. I had opened my heart, finally, decided to always have an open mind and it had done nothing but destroy me and my family.

I flew to my closet and pulled out my luggage and began feverishly throwing my belongings in there. I needed nothing but the essentials, a bit of clothes, my keepsakes and valuable items. I wanted nothing but to get out of here, to get out of this god damn town that brought nothing but pain. It was in these moments of packing that my cries returned and I fell to the floor, and cried in to my suitcase. I cried so hard it hurt for what felt like hours.

"Rae, Rae what's wrong?" Patrick ran threw my door and dropped to my side. He was here to talk to me about what happened with Lane and to take me to his party. But I ignored him, not feeling the familiar comfort I usually get when he is by my side.