Confessions of Your Friendly Neighborhood Lifeguard

Chapter Thirteen

At 12:45, I arrived at the B-SAC. I sat in my car for a few minutes contemplating if I should go in there and just quit. I'd done a lot of contemplating that morning. I contemplated joining a convent, becoming a hermit, even becoming a mime; really, just anything that would remove me from any social situations for the rest of my life. It had taken me 17 years to realize it, but I was socially awkward, and was probably doomed to be for the rest of my life.

I took a deep breath and put my head on my steering wheel. "Pull yourself together, Rae," I thought. "Who are you if you can't stand up to some boy?"  So, feeling confident, I lifted my head off the steering wheel and reached left the car. I walked in to the front entrance with my head held high, my mini cooler of water held confidently, and my sunblock applied evenly.

I had taken maybe twenty steps in to the pool area when my confidence crashed on me because, obviously, the first person I saw when I walked in to work was Patrick. He locked eyes with me, trying to read me for some clue as to what I was feeling. I had a second, maybe less, to decide what I wanted to do here. The silent treatment? Ream him out? What statement would I make?

Drumroll please....

"Hey Patrick!" I smiled, waving enthusiastically. His expression changed, not in to a look of relief, but a look of confusion. He knew I was supposed to upset, infuriated even, yet I was acting chipper. It was in that one moment of total confusion on Patrick's face that I had chosen the right technique. Nothing makes a person feel more guilty than acting like nothing is wrong.

I turned in to the guard room and put away all my stuff, telling everyong hello, with real enthusiasm, as Patrick followed in behind me. As I clocked in and got ready to start the day, I could feel the eyes of everyone in the room, still wondering what was happening between me and Patrick. I ignored them all as I fastend on my fanny pack and adjusted my visor. As I turned around to take a spot, I turned directly in to Patrick, hovering over me. 

I did a touble take, Patrick's finely chiseled pecks staring me directly in the eyes, as I moved up to his face. His dark hair was pushed back by his sunglasses on his face as I watched his eyes once again search mine for a sign. 

"Pretty close there, Patrick?" I laughed awkwardly. Despite my comment, Patrick made no movement. I quickly glanced around the room and all the other guards had left, if it was to give us privacy or to go to their positions, I never figured out. 

"Rae, can we talk?" Patrick asked, his low voice shaking the core of my body. 

"What's there to talk about?" I smiled, but using a voice heavy with bitch tone

"Come on, Rae, I know that you're upset," he said with a snappy tone.

"Water under the bridge, Patrick. Really, I have nothing to be mad about," I shrugged. 

"I really just want to-"

"We open in five, you guys," Avery said, poking her head in to the room. "Wrap it up." I looked up at Patrick who was still staring intensely down at me. I moved to the side and headed towards the door, grabbing a tube and strapping it on. 

"Better get going," I said, monotone. 

"We are not done here," Patrick said, walking past me. "Not by a long shot."

I rolled my eyes and walked to my spot, hovering seven feet above the deep end. As the day started and the local kids rushed in the front entrance. I looked around at the pool, at what I had gotten myself into. Now that I was permanent staff, I was quickly reminded the things I love and hate about lifeguarding. As people of all ages splashed around and screamed, I didn't find myself thinking about Patrick or my dad or anything relevant.