Confessions of Your Friendly Neighborhood Lifeguard

Chapter Nineteen

By Patrick's birthday, I felt confident I'd gotten him a pretty kickass birthday present. For starters, I got him a vacation to Oregon, which is pretty cool. I know, I know, what's special about Oregon? Nothing. But really, there's only like three cool states out there, so whatever. I also got him a Notre Dame t-shirt, which I've come to know he lives and breathes. And finally, I decided that I'm going to tell Patrick that I loved him.

Loveing someone is an interesting thing, and certainly not something I ever anticipated feeling while I was still in high school. But, despite only being with Patrick for a month, I could tell something was different. When I was with him I floated on air, and got butterflies and that never went away. Seeing him smile made me smile, it was strange. And let me tell you, Ted Borkowski never made me feel like that. I woke up on his birthday feeling nervous about my decision, but I had no doubts in my mind. For the first time, I was about to dive in to the deep end head first. (Mind the pool reference.)

Despite these feelings of sunshine and happiness, my mother's pending engagement still hung over my head. This was my problem. I let other people's choices effect me too much. My dad was right, this is about my mom and her happiness. Brad treats her well, he's nice to me, and I truly have no reason to object, other than my own selfish reasons. Still, every night I worried my mom would come home engaged and I would have to force myself to be happy. But five days had passed since Brad bought the cupcake and still no proposal.

Anyways, I got up and as it had become my routine, I called my dad. He started work fairly early in the morning back in Oregon and by the time I woke up in the middle of the afternoon on the east coast, my dad was awake and it was the perfect time to call. As always, it only rang once before he answered.

"Good morning, Rae," his voice greeted.

"Are you happy, dad?" I asked, ignoring the greeting.

"What do you mean?"

"Are you happy? Right now, with your life, are you a happy person?" I asked again. In dealing with my mother's impending happiness, I also had to begin to learn the happiness of my father. Deal with that Dr. Klein suggested it.

"Since you've entered my life again, I've been beyond happy," he replied. "I've even started dating again."

"Oh-" I replied, not sure how I felt about this. My mind flashed back to his secretary who he slept with, cheating on my mom. The hurt that my dad inflicted on me and my mom suddenly came back to me.

"Yes, Rae, I'd like you to meet her when you come back," my dad told me. You could hear a pin drop in my room. I took several moments before I could remind myself.

"I don't know if I'm ready for that," I told him honestly. "I've barely let you back in to my life. And mom-"

"You're mom and I are both happy," my dad reminded. "I respect that it might be weird for you, Rae. But-"

"But nothing dad. You cheated on mom! This is all you're fault!" I shouted, before realizing what had came out of my mouth. "Dad, I'm sorry. I don't know-"

"It's okay, Rae. Say what you need to say," he told me. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. Now I would need to call Dr. Klein.

"I think we're taking this too fast. I need more time," i said to my dad. He took a deep breath at the other end of the phone and I felt like I was stabbing him right in the heart.

"Will you still come visit next month?" he asked.

"Of course," I replied. "Just right now, I need a break."

"That's fine, Rae. But I think you need to talk to your mom. It's important." I hung up the phone before anything else could be said. My mind was reeling, and this wasn't quite what I was ready for this morning. I took a deep breath, and pushed my mom, dad, Brad, and the secretary from my mind. I quickly pushed thoughts of Patrick in to my mind, which instantly calmed me down.

Around six that night, I headed over to the Bridge where we we are all meeting to celebrate Patrick's birthday. I only brought his first present, the t-shirt, as I was saving the rest for the party at the Double L later. I was the last one to arrive (cause I'm that fashionably late one), but there was a seat saved next to Patrick just for me.

"It's about time you got here!" Chip shouted. "I'm hungry!"

"Well that's not surprising," I told him as Chip rolled his eyes.

"I made them wait for you," Patrick whispered in my ear.

"Now they all hate me, probably," I whispered back.

"Yes!" they shouted in unison. Ah, I had missed that unison talk. I laughed it off and they all ordered only seconds after I sat down. Before the food arrive, however, the gift exchange began. I pulled out my small package and passed it over to the small pile.

"Josephine Beakerman alert, six o'clock," Avery whispered in to my ear.

"You're fucking joshing me," I whispered back, quickly glamsping around. My eyes glared on the thin body of Josie, dressed like a whore as she scanned the crowded Bridge. Her eyes passed over mine, and I quickly turned back around. I looked at Patrick to see if noticed my little spaz attack, but he was going awfully hard on his presents.

"She's probably on a date," Avery assured me. "She won't bother us."

"Patty, happy birthday." Her voice rang through my ears. The sound of her voice was like someone put nails in a god damn blender.

"Josie, what are you doing here?" Patrick asked, his voice strained as he looked at me worriedly. I put on my best smile and try not to act annoyed. I smiled a teethless smile up at Jo and she gave me a similar look in return.

"Lance invited me," Josie replied. "Hasn't he told you? We're together now."

How's that for a fucking plot twist?

As Josie pushed herself in to the oversized booth, the universal look across the table at Lance was one of disgust. He stared in to his lap. Josie wiggled her way over people and sat next to Lance, who was smack dab in the middle of the booth. He looked rather uncomfortable as Jo draped herself over Lance's body. I observed them, only for a moment, but I couldn't deny, they were an attractive couple. But still, what the fuck was happening here?

And then I got it.

"Lance, might I speak with you alone for a minute?" I asked, in the sweetest tone possible. "It's about the, uh, cake." Lance looked up at me awkwardly, but he knew what I wanted and he nodded in agreement.

The whole booth shuffled awkwardly to allow me and Lance out, along with some very upset looks coming from both Patrick and Jo. I tried to calm Patrick the best I could with my eyes, but I'm not sure how successful I actually was. Nonetheless, Lance and I dismissed ourselves so we could outside and in to the ally.

Where I would effectively, kick his stupid fucking ass.