30- CONCHOBAR

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You can skip this chapter if you want its talks about nialls mental health.
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"Is Conchobar a place? is it an emotion? we don't know" If you want to follow my insa its Conchobar.Ig (usually its lilo.ig)

What do you guys think of the baby's name? i think it's a bit weird for a name, tbh; but if they have a specific reason to name him that then. . . . 🙌 But it can be a joke!who knows?

Chapter 30.

Tears streamed down my face as i clutched the fat that hanged on my stomach.
. . .
"Really? you find yourself in this situation again and the first thing you do is cry?"
Snapping my head up i see Lou (Baby Daddy) leaning against my door frame with a disapproving sneer on his face.
"LOU!" i Screamed, running towards him.
But just as i reached him, my arms go right through him.
Standing confused i look up at Lou who chuckled lightly.
"Niall you haven't made me real"
"Made you real? Lou what are you talking about? why am i fat again? why cant i touch you? what the fuck is going on?!" i shout frustrated
"tsk. . .tsk my dear Niall why must you be so naive?"
"What?"
"You're dreaming you idiot!" he sighed
". . . .Dreaming?"
"Yes Niall dreaming, that thing humans usually do when they're body goes numb and your mind travels."
Looking around i finally start to see what he's talking about; the window is on the wrong side of the room, the corners of my room seems to fade.
Sighing i looked back at Lou.
"Okay. . so how do i wake up?"
He pointed behind me.
Turning around the whole side of my room transformed into a mirror, reflecting my gigantic body and a fading Lou.
"Where are you going?!" i panicked
"Niall this is your moment . . . your moment to look at yourself and love who you used to be and forgive."
"What NO!"i shout, but he already vanished into little specks, leaving behind his last words.

"Cry as hard as you want to, but just make sure when you're finished,
You never cry for the same reason again."

Turning back to the mirror, i felt a sob rise up my throat .

Closing my eyes i pictured another setting.
I opened again and saw my skinnier self.
Sobbing echoed through the room. . . turning around i saw. . . . myself? the fat me. Crying.
I walked over to him.
I kneeling beside him.
"Stop crying" i said softy
Seeing myself like this brought so many emotions. . .memories crashing towards me.
"why? what use is there to me" he sobbed
i clutched his cheek bringing his face forward "It may not be okay today, or even tonight. You wont be okay tomorrow either. But someday.
Someday you'll be okay.

i promise you. don't give up. . . please don't give up i need you" i croaked, tears running down my cheeks
"I love you" i told myself. . . for the first time.



Closing my eyes i felt a tug towards my body. . . then light blinded me.
waking myself up, my pillow was wet with tears the sun was blinding behind my curtains...i was in my penthouse.
letting myself fall back down, i cried and laughed like a crazy person. . . i did it.

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PLEASE READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!

These chapters were pretty irreverent.

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