PHAN -Save me, please.

Chapter 24

A/N: Disclaimer: Talking about rape, self-harm and suicide. I can't really mark out where it starts and stops as the whole chapter will be about that so if you get triggered very easily you might want to skip this chapter. I will put a summary of this chapter at the very bottom so I don't spoil anything for the others up here. I am sorry for any inconveniences but the next chapters will all be fluffy awesomeness.

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Phil smiled goofily. He wasn't aware that he played such a big role in Dan's life. He knew that Dan was permanently thanking him for what he does, but Phil didn't know he was more to him than the guy who adopted Dan.

Phil crawled over to where Dan was sitting on the bed, his head lowered. Phil grabbed Dan's face with both hands and brought it up. "I'm glad." Phil said and kissed Dan on the forehead.

Dan felt hot tears boiling up inside him as he felt Phil's warm lips on his forehead. Dan once again realized how lucky he had been that someone like Phil adopted him. In Dan's past, so many things had failed he lost count. From his school, his first boyfriend and his family to the rape or his suicide attempts. It all seemed worth it knowing that he got Phil out of all of it.

However, the way he felt lately made it seem more and more like a dream. Dan still worried that one day he would wake up and Phil was just gone. He was afraid that maybe Phil was just a good actor and none of the things that he said or did were actually true.

Suddenly, it felt as if it was the wrong decision to trust Phil that much already. Dan only knew him for almost a year, how would he know that he was not another rapist and just couldn't wait until they were alone in Phil's flat? 'Knowledge is power', that was something his dad would always tell him when Dan was sick of studying. He would always just wave it off as a silly attempt to get Dan to better grades. However, Dan had never thought of it that way that people could use information that you share with them against you.

"I'm very proud of you Dan, you know? I know how hard it is for you to share personal information with a stranger like me." Phil said softly, holding Dan's hand.

Dan shook his head. "You are not a stranger..." he tried to convince Phil and moreover himself. Dan really wanted to believe that Phil wasn't a stranger that had something bad in mind. But Dan has learned all over his life that people will hold information against you, even though you think you can trust them at any time.

One time, when Dan was just falling in love with Luke back in the days and he told his best friend Cat about it, she blurted it out in front of the school. Dan was still in the closet back then and would get homophobic comments every day.

Or the time when Dan told Luke about his feelings towards his family and how he just wanted to disappear. Luke told Dan's brother about, who immediately snitched it to their parents and that lead to a very awkward conversation and 2 weeks of being grounded.

All of this made Dan believe that you can't trust anyone anymore, he only now started to feel a bond with someone again and of course, that someone was Phil. But how could he trust Phil, a guy he only knew for a year now, rather than his family or friends whom he knew for his whole life?

"I should... tell you more..." Dan stuttered, lowering his head again.

"Look at me." Phil said and softly pulled Dan's head back up. "Don't feel like you HAVE TO tell me something about you. If you are pressuring yourself, it's not the right thing to do. If you want to, that's fine and I will always be here to listen. But don't pressure yourself."

Dan nodded. Does someone who just wants to get information out of you sound like this?!

"Hold me please." Dan stated.