PHAN -Save me, please.

Chapter 15

A/N: Everything written in italics is the letter.

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These days, Dan's thoughts were all over the place. He couldn't turn his thoughts away from that dream and what had happened before. Nothing was different though. Phil would come and visit him, they would talk, Dan would go to the cafeteria and back to bed. Everything was completely ordinary.

Still, Dan couldn't even remember what he'd done that day; a second after a conversation he would've already forgotten what it was about. He couldn't really think straight, his mind just always drifting off to the moment that had a happened over a week ago.

He still bugged himself with the questions why Phil had done this. For his own enjoyment? Because he wanted more? Or maybe he didn't even want to kiss Dan and he just misunderstood his actions? Or was it really because he had feelings for Dan?

Dan doubted the latter the most. If Phil really was in love with him, he would've said something beforehand or at least try to show Dan in any way. But thinking back, there had never been anything that would make Phil intentions clear. Dan was never under the impression that Phil tried to come closer to him or to effectively show affection towards him.

Well, it didn't really surprise Dan. How could someone else love him when he didn't even manage to love himself?!

Even though the 'in-love-thing' seemed unlikely, it was even more difficult for Dan to think about other intentions. Why would Phil want to hurt him? Or why would he misuse a patient just to get some enjoyment?

All three of the theories seemed unlikely to Dan. But it bugged him even more that only Phil knew his real intentions, and Dan most likely never got to hear them if he wouldn't ask.

Dan knew it couldn't go on like this. Days passing without him even remembering anything and his thoughts crashing down on him. He needed to get all of this off his chest. All of his worries towards Phil, the feelings that he had for him, the constant flashbacks to the incident. But who could he tell? Surely NOT Phil. Scott was also out of the questions because Dan knew that Scott was a little blabbermouth. Who else was there that Dan trusted enough to tell his deepest thoughts?

Zoe. Zoe was the only person besides Phil and Scott that Dan talked to and trusted enough.

But the thing was that Zoe hasn't been at lunch lately, because, as Avi told Dan, she had a huge break-down and since then wasn't allowed to leave her room until her condition got better.

But Dan needed to talk to her. Very urgently. Though she wasn't allowed to leave her room, no one was allowed to enter it either. So taking a stroll over to Zoe's room surely wasn't an option.

Wait... what if...? Dan had an idea.

He stood up and walked over to his desk, where a few things were laying around that Phil had brought him. A few books, a magazine, a little toy...

Dan had never touched them, just because he still wasn't a friend of presents and even less of Phil spending money on him. Nevertheless, it still made Dan really happy whenever Phil brought something for him; Dan remembering the first time he gave him lion who was still sitting in the corner of Dan's bed.

Dan took one of the books into his hand. 'Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire' by J.K. Rowling. Dan used to love the Harry Potter books growing up and it was really nice of Phil to bring him his most beloved book. Though, this book could maybe help him to get in touch with Zoe.

He opened the book and skipped through the pages, until he found what he was looking for – a blank page. Dan started to slowing rip out the page, carefully so that he wouldn't damage the book. He was really thankful for all of the presents he received, but this was also the only way he could follow through with his plan.