Epiphany

Chapter 25 ~

3 days after I found out about Lamar's death, his funeral was held.

I skipped school those 3 days, and been kept to myself.

"Baby, I might not be able to make it to ole' boy funeral. I got things to do." Speedy said, tying his shoes.

In the time I'm in a real great depression, Speedy decides to change back to the old Speedy. He couldn't have waited a little bit longer?

"Ole' boy?" I ask, putting my hands on my hips. He had went too far with that shit.

"Damn, Lamar. You know who I was talmbout."

I sighed and grabbed my towel, "What things you got to do anyway? You ain't gotta work today."

"Things." He simply said.

"Simple ass answer."

"Oh well."

"What things, Speedy?!" I yelled, getting irritated.

"Man, don't worry bout it! Damn." He replied. I could tell he was getting angry.

"Why I ain't gotta worry bout it? You always going out late at night & sometimes don't even fucking come back home! You be out doing God knows what, and ion never question yo ass why! Today the only day when you're avaliable, and I need you! My fucking brother died over some bullshit that was my fault and all I need is a muhfucking shoulder to lean on! But, no .. you just out. Doing 'things'." I said, on the verge of crying my eyes out. I felt the tears begin to form.

"Well, that shit was YOUR fault. Not mines." He said, nonchalantly.

I couldn't believe this nigga right now! What the fuck this nigga been sippin' on? He gotta be trippin' on something cause this nigga got me all types of fucked up.

"Get out." I said in a low voice.

"Baby, I ain't mean that. You-"

"GET OUT!!" I yelled, wiping away the tears that were running down my face.

He stood up and tightened the strings on his hoodie, "Shit, you ain't gotta say that no mo." He picked up his keys and walked out of the room, slamming the front door downstairs.

I didn't have time to be crying over his ass. I had these tears to shed at my brother's funeral.

I took a shower, and freshened up. I put on a lightly fitted black dress, black platform wedges, and I put on a black veil.

Over my Jordan necklace, I put on the cross necklace Lamar had given me on Christmas, and I put on the bracelets Major and my mom gave me.

I carried two bouquets of flowers and made my way to my car.

I made my first stop at the cemetary and put a bouquet of flowers on my father's tombstone. I talked to him for a couple of minutes, then got back in my car.

I honked my horn as I pulled up to the curb. Akia steped out of her house dressed almost identical as me. She got into my car, put on her seatbelt, and stared out the window.

A couple minutes into our drive she asked, "Speedy?"

"Fight." I simply said. Those were the only words we spoke in the 1 hour drive to Lamar's church.

I was happy they planned Lamar's funeral at a nice church, instead of a ragedy old one. It was big and beautiful, and it looked the same on the inside. I came to this church with Lamar once, and it was amazing.

I parked in a parking space and me and Akia got out of my car. She held her hand out for mines, and I wrapped my fingers thru hers.

I was so afraid to go into the church building. I had never met neither one of Lamar's parents, and I heard that the police allowed his father to come because of his good behavior. If Lamar was alive, he woulda been like "Fuck that good behavior shit. Keep his ass in there forever and don't let him come out!" I kinda smiled, remembering Lamar's voice. I wanted to tell Akia my encounter with Lamar after his death, but I didn't want her to think different of me. I shook the thought out of my head. I guess I'll just keep that between me, him, and God.