Breakup Helpline [#2 of the Helpline Trilogy]

2: 12 a.m

"Good Morning, mate!"

"That was a terrible Australian accent."

"How would you know? Did you live in Australia? Are you Australian? Do you have friends that are Australian? No, because you don't have any friends so don't tell me you know how an Australian accent goes!"

"...did you ever took a breath?"

"No, I told you I was dead inside." 

"...Right. So when do you exactly leave?"

"Eh...14th of February."

"That's Valentines Day."

"Exactly. A great big giant 'fuck you' to all those sappy couples think that they're in the best of their times when the best privilege is to be single."

"Wow."

"Yep, so how did you and Jessica go?" 

"Um, not bad. She accepted the second date."

"See, I told you that she wouldn't think too much of it. And to think you almost overreact or something."

"I'm sorry...but you girls are hard to read."

"Duh, we're like complicated mazes. It's a new thing every day. You don't know what to expect. You know, sometimes your period comes early and you're an emotional, crying wreck, willing to kill everything insides- even puppies. On other days, your period is late and it turns out you're pregnant." 

"Are you trying to tell me that you're pregnant?"

"Yeah, and it's yours."

"WHAT?! But-" 

"God, Franklin, you're so easy to fool. If you were any slower, I swear you'll be going backwards."

"What? You sounded so serious! I thought-"

"Oh please, you wish it was yours." 

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