Breakup Helpline [#2 of the Helpline Trilogy]

7: 17 p.m

"Yo, Franklin."

"How do you even know it's me?"

"Well, firstly: no one breathes as loud as you do on the phone and well, I always realize how you pick up on the third ring and I'm also psychic."

"Or a stalker."

"Please, I'm a casual observer of the human race."

"Synonymous with a stalker."

"Oh, please Franklin. You love the attention I give you. Maybe I'm a stalker but you have an ego problem."

"I do not. I don't have an ego."

"Says the male."

"Don't turn this into a feminist rant."

"Either way, we all have problems and we're all messed-up. I just prefer to show my crazy instead of hiding it."

"And you wonder why you never been in a relationship."

"...MEAN! But though I'm offended, I'm strangely admiring the wit behind that comeback. I've taught you well, young one. I'm the Yoda to your Luke Skywalker, but hotter with boobs."

"...and you say I have an ego."

"It's fine for me to have an ego, it's terribly cliche for you to have one."

"Double standards!"

"We're in a girl-boy friendship now, Franklin. It's always going to be double standards from now on."

"Oh, so we're a girl-boy friendship now?"

"Yeah, other than Eva, you're the person I talk to the most and you haven't run away screaming for your life yet so..."

"I guess. And you helped me through Tiffany. So since we're officially upgraded to friends now, other than really angry music, clear psychological issues, a dying mom, stalking habits and a general hatred towards everybody, is there anything else I need to know?"

"You should probably know about the dead body."

"What?"

"God, Franklin. I was just joking. You're so gullible."

"Oh come on, Serena. The fact that you had killed somebody is extremely believable."

"...true."

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A/N: 'yoda to your luke skywalker, but hotter with boobs' is now officially engraved onto my future tombstone, guys. any fave quotes from the helpline series so far? comment below cuz I WANNA KNOW.