Dear Ana,

Manibus date lilia plenis

I lost it. I lost it all.
My eyes stung.
Tears streamed.
"All I wanted was to be thin."
"We know."

Thinner. Thinner. Skinnier.
"It's never enough."
"We know."
"I can't stop."
"We know." They whispered.

Maybe I should just disappear.
Then it would stop.
The darkness would leave.
This constant obsession would disappear together with me.

"I don't know how much longer I can take this."

After a while, my eyes felt dry.
My expression was plain.
I felt nothing.
I thought of nothing.
My mind was blank.

I walked into the house.
Up the stairs.
I always wondered where Rose committed suicide. No one told me.
But now I've found her sanctuary.
Her home.
My home.

I walked into what seemed to have been a bedroom.
A diary was placed on the desk. Next to it a pen.
This was Rose's note.
Now it will be mine.

Dear Ana, Mia and Rose,
I didn't understand at first.
But now all I want is to be thin.
You've dedicated yourself so much.
Gaining weight has me haunted.
Every time, I want to hurt myself.
I just wanted to be thin, because that would be pretty.
I was always scared of the consequences, but it was no match for the desire to have my ribs showing and my hip bones sticking out.
I have no regrets in my life.
I just wish I could have had someone like Rose as my sister, just like Ana and Mia.

Aspiring to be like you, I've completely destroyed myself and now I don't know who I am and my life has no point left to its meaning.

My handwriting was shaky.
I was terrified.

Logan's PoV
Amy won't pick up her phone.
I was running around.
I already went to her house and her parents said she ran out.
I've got a bad feeling.
Where would she go?
A place, some place where she'd go to be alone. Has she told me about something like that?
SHIT Amy. Where are you?
You better not do anything stupid.

Shit if I hadn't written that stupid note.
Damn it.
Why won't she just get fucking better??