Encrypted Souls

Chapter Fourteen.

Chapter Fourteen.

            When I was little and travelling a lot, I was always bummed out. Of course I had Tabby with me, and she would make me happy… but I just never really got the hang of moving around so much. Always losing new friends, and never being able to dig roots anywhere. Never having that final feeling of euphoria about being home. My life was like a story that never ended. It was always chapter after chapter, after chapter. I grew sick of it quick. But moving around so much did open my eyes to an extent. I got to see different things – things that some people will live their whole lives without seeing. I got to stand in the ocean once. I remember swimming out as far as I could, until I knew that the ground was going to drop, and I wouldn’t be able to stand on the sand any longer. I remember standing just borderline of the deep end, and feeling the waves lap up against my body. And the warm summer wind enveloping me in its ongoing movement, the salty smell of the water. I can still recall the feeling of being as free as the squawking seagulls that flew above me, and knowing that I was one foot away from indulging something just out of my reach. I thought that I could swim away from all of the chaos. I could swim until my body couldn’t take it any longer, and even then I would push myself until I reached a new land – far away from my travelling parents. I would find an island. And there I would make a place to live, and eat fish. I would call that place home.

            Just like the squawking seagulls.

            But I couldn’t do that. That would be selfish, and immature. My parents would be considered unfit, and most likely dysfunctional. No child wants to live a life without their loving parents by their sides. No child should feel the need to escape.

            Now I am an adult, and more than once I have felt the need to escape… but I am a fighter. And no fighter goes down without a fight. Surprisingly, the feeling that I’m overwhelmed with at this moment is freedom. I know it won’t last for long, but I’m enjoying it nonetheless. I absently rub circles along Ross’ bare chest, my head tucked in between his neck and his shoulder.

            This feels right.

            Safe.

            This feels like the closest thing to home in a long time.

            “Morning beautiful.” His voice is soft and he bends his head down to my forehead as he places a kiss upon it. I smile.

            “Good morning.” I say against his skin.

            “What are you doing up so early?” He looks to his alarm clock on the side table and chuckles. “It’s only five in the morning.”

            “I have to go to work.” I groan. “Although I really just want to stay right here all day.” I kiss his neck and he shivers.

            I absolutely love the effect that I have on him and he seems so vulnerable in his tired state. His arm tightens around my waist.

            “Call in sick.” He says simply.

            “I can’t do that.” I pause, thinking about how easy it would be. “Tabby would know that I’m not sick.” His body stiffens as I say her name.  “She can see right through me.”

            “Well, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.” He nuzzles his nose against my hair.

            “We do have a new girl… I’m just not sure if she’s ready to take on such a work load.” I sit up, bunching the thin bed sheets to my bare chest. “Let me give her a call.”