Blue velvet

"I love him I know it."

I sat there in silence alone. It felt horrible for the past weeks my silence has been filled up with his voice, his calming voice. You wouldn't need to pay me to watch and listen to him for the rest of my days. His voice was safe and hypnotic. I miss the smell of his aftershave hanging around in the air. I miss when he would just hold me, keeping me warm and reminding me that he was there. I started to feel myself crying again. I couldn't help it. I think I... no I know I love him. I can feel it in my bones, I can feel it in my heart and soul. I love him, I said it. I don't think I love him, I know it. I managed to pull myself up. The pain rushed straight to my head. It was like one swift blow to the head, that's how the pain struck.
"I need an aspirin. I'll go in his office and get one, then sleep." I told myself.
I walked out and closed the door. It made a light bang. I walked to his door and knocked twice. No answer, I just opened the door to find no one inside. Then suddenly his aftershave hit me. It was comforting, it felt almost like a hug. I shut the door just incase. Then I took the small blue bottle of aspirin and gulped two down with some whiskey. I used his crystal glass. The one he always uses. Then I sat down on the red love chair that he has, you know the one we first made out on. I started to remember how good it felt for him to touch me and kiss me. I started to ache for him, I started to shed more tears thinking about him. Then slowly I placed my head on the side on it and eventually pulled my legs up. Shortly after I think I feel asleep well, I say I think but I know I feel asleep I just don't know if it was shortly after.