Blue velvet

"It's almost cruel..."

I strolled into the main kitchen with Oliver beside me. His aftershave lingering in the air like smoke. He puffed the cigarette he was loosely holding onto with his fingers. He was just taller than me. I love the protection and being able to hear the drum of his heart when we stood in a tight embrace. When he touches me I feel safe and calm. He always tells me that'll never leave, me this place I believe him completely. I know he won't hurt me. He is reliable, he is noble and he wouldn't lie to me. You know what I mean when I say that you know someone is right, you feel it in your gut you just know that you need them and they need you. It felt amazing to be able to know that he will always come back, it's almost love... the way I feel. I came in here miserable and dead inside, I felt empty and he filled me. He filled my body with hope and well I think love. It's almost cruel he has me on a thread but like I know he would never let me go he is holding me up. I know that he is the strong one, he is the the protector. It's not because he is a man, it's because I am weak. I lose my temper, I cheat and use. He is pure and that's why he is the one who matters the one I care about. It's like he is the angel and I'm the evil, the devil. The thing I love the most is he treats me like a person not a patient, he helps me. He is making this place good, which is strange because here is meant to be a punishment.I love that he doesn't just use me, he doesn't just want sex he actually wants me. He is hypnotic when I see him I shiver with happiness, I automatically remember why I still live. I could just look at him in silence for hours, he is the only thing I think I actually have loved. I mean I have loved before but they messed that up and I've never opened up to anyone like this since. I know I've thrown myself at him maybe to fast but I know that he will catch me. Whilst I was thinking about him and daydreaming he suddenly looked at me and gave me one of his adorable half smiles. My face filled with content.