Nobodies // Bellamy Blake

Purpose in Life

      She was switching medicines on my head, humming a tune to herself as she did so. I closed my eyes fearfully as I focused on her fingers running through the top of my head.

      I was lying down as she crouched down behind my head. I haven't moved in a while, afraid of her watchful gaze. As stiff as a stone, I winced as she pressed hard on the wound. Suddenly she stopped humming and it left a tense silence.

      Angrily, she grabbed my chin and forced my head back to look at her. I squeezed my eyes closed, afraid to look into her devious blue-green eyes. Gulping thickly, sweat dribbled down my head from the heat in the cave. I'd guess it was daytime outside as it was freezing hours ago.

      Her breath tickled my glistening skin. Followed after was an evil chuckle. "What? Afraid of me?" She teased, roughly letting go of my chin as my head awkwardly bobbed back down. I didn't have to answer as I knew she already knew the answer.

      I suppressed a sigh as she stood up and grabbed the jars full of medicine with her. As she left, I watched her hesitantly, hoping she wouldn't sense my gaze on her. With my no such luck, she stopped right behind the exit.

      Chuckling once again, she didn't turn around as she said. "Be careful, don't know what's lurking in these woods no more." She spoke fluently, leaving me as a statue.

      Thinking about her words, I stared up at the ceiling. Will I ever leave? Shackled wrists and an ankle, my mind and thoughts felt trapped as well. My mind felt like it was bounding around the cave wall as the sweat dribbled down me like the droplets running down the walls. It was sticky and wet in here, but I felt no reason to complain.

      Words jumbling in my throat, itching to come out, but my lips were glued shut. Was it the lack of energy? Did she leave me speechless? Is this caused by the medicine she gave me?

      All of these questions made my stomach ache and I arched my back off the ground for more comfort. Huffing as I slammed down to the ground, my heart did all the thinking for now.

      I was missing Octavia insanely. She was a dose of comfort for me, whether she was near me or far away. Knowing she was there made it better. We had each other's backs, and without her security blanket I felt vulnerable. My other half, the only person who understands me, isn't here. Wherever he took her I can only pray she's still breathing.

      I was missing Bellamy, and I welcomed that feeling hesitantly. He practically called me a fuck-buddy to my face and laughed at my feelings. Stating that he wasn't a prince and that I wasn't a princess. I wasn't. I was his kitten, as corny as it sounds. I purred at his affection, lapping it up greedily. That was what I was missing right now. His warm, secure, and comforting affection. Where his big arms would wrap around me, only myself seeing his wide grin that stretched his lips, and his charming ways that swooned me.

      Somewhere deep inside of me, missed my sister, Clarke. My heart was hesitant to even allow me to know this, but she was just there. Planted there permanently after we connected the dots together. That was the only reason why she was even there. But in someway I knew she would've wiggled her way into my heart, sister or not. I was craving real sisterly advice, if Octavia's isn't enough already. Even one of those heavy, meaningful hugs that only sisters can give each other.

      I tried to stop digging dipper, but my mind lulled numbly to the thought of Charlotte. Too young to go, and I could easily be the next to go. Death can't be stopped but it can be prolonged. That's what we're trying to do.

      But now, I feel empty yet hopeful at the same time. Like my mind and body just felt dead and limp, wondering what's the use of fighting an army that will only bring us death. But that small place in my chest where my heart keeps thumping proves to me that I'm still alive. Alive for a purpose. Whether it's to kill one grounder, to help save someone, to let someone feel love, to give life to another person, or to find a point in my life where I'm in peace with my true self and regrets.

      So, what's my purpose?

      I'm the only one that can find out, and that terrifies me. How long will it be till' I know? How many risks and dangers will I go through to achieve that one thing?

      Grinning up at the surface, I pray it better be worth it in the end.

Small, I know. But this chapter is VERY important to this story.

Why? Well, let's just say that she'll find out her purpose and maybe her end in this story. (This is for all you people who actually read these.)

I'm actually excited to finish this, because I feel like the ending has so much potential. Also, so I can start my new Bellamy book.

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