Nobodies // Bellamy Blake

Crazy In Love

"I look and stare
so deep in your eyes,

I touch you more and more
every time,

when you leave I'm
begging you not to go,

call your name two three
times in a row,

such a funny thing for me
to try to explain,

how I'm feeling in my pride
is the one to blame,

I still don't understand,

just how your love can do
what no one else can."
-Beyoncé

 

        "Bellamy," I peeked through my crust-filled eyes, only seeing multiple visions of a blurry Bellamy staring deeply at me.  Wincing at the pinch on the corner of my eyes, I raised my hands to rub the pain away.   Thankfully, I gained my vision, seeing Bellamy staring at me with deep creases on his forehead, and at the corner of his wide and frightened eyes.  Panic flooded through my body as I saw Bellamy staring at me like a damaged child.  I've seen him vulnerable, but never frightened like this.  "Bellamy," I repeated slowly, slightly afraid by his heavy breathing hitting my cold nose.

        We fell asleep in each other's comfort in his tent.  Of course after having sex, though.  Under his "blankets" we were still naked, but our warm bodies pressed up against to each other.  Our warmth melting together.  But right now, I felt completely cold as I saw Bellamy was away from my body.  He was standing upright, the "blankets" slowly dragging itself lower down his body, currently showing his lower stomach.  I would've found myself staring if it wasn't for his face.  I sat upright too, clutching the cloth tighter around my chest though.  My blonde hair was flying all around my face and shoulders, finding no place to rest. 

        Cautiously, I hesitantly placed a hand where his neck and shoulder meet, making his brown eyes snap to my hand.  "Tell me," I cooed, "what's wrong?"

        I could see him take in a deep breath in through his nose and out his mouth.  After a few more, he started to talk, "I- It doesn't matter, sorry I woke you up." He sounded hesitant to just drop it, but he also sounded upset about waking me up. 

        I frowned at that, "Don't do that."  When I saw him raise an eyebrow at me in confusion, I continued. "Bellamy, we're not best-friends, boyfriend or girlfriend, hell, we aren't really anything.  But I want to get to know you Bellamy, I want to know what's underneath that tough exterior you show.  I want to see all your demons, flaws, fears, and obsessions.  Don't push me away."

        "What if it's too much?" He didn't need to press with more detail in that question.  I understood what he meant, but it didn't scare me.  In fact, it made me more determined.

        I shook my head vigorously, "It could never be."  With that, I made a silent promise to always be there for Bellamy.  "Now lay down, calm down, and when you're ready you can tell me." I spoke with a soft voice, offering a small smile that his eyes dodged.  Sliding my hands down to his chest, I pushed him down to the bed gently. 

        Once the back of his head touched his "pillow", he clamped his eyes shut, trying to force his muscles to react.  Laying back down with my hand holding my head, I drew relaxing infinity sings all over chest and lower neck.  I immediately grinned when I saw little goose bumps rise on his skin afterwards. 

        After a few minutes I spoke up from the comforting silence, "I don't mean to rush, but I'm afraid that if I wait any longer I'm going to fall asleep."
        
        He sighed before peeking one eye at me, but then he finally opened both of his eyes.  "It just felt too real.  Like I could reach out and touch her, to grab her and save her.  I was reliving a nightmare that felt like a blissful dream.  She was alive.  That was all that mattered.  I can still imagine her beautiful smile, dark freckles all around her cheeks, and the deep creases under her eyes.  Just seeing her again, alive, then all of a sudden dead, I- I just can't handle it." His breath becomes shaky as he tries to collect his voice.  "I-I miss her too m-much."

        Scooting closer, I press my naked body against his, immediately feeling flushed from the movement.  My confidence swiped away at the worst moment.  Bellamy didn't seem to care as he pulled me down to his chest in a fluid movement, not even speaking a word as he tried to calm his breath.  I wanted to look up at him, but his hand on the back of my head kept me down as he tangled his long fingers in my knotty hair. 

        I didn't know who he was talking about in that moment, but I knew it was someone very close to him.  Knowing not to talk at the moment, I press a quick kiss to his chest, my lips warming up for a second.

        Never in a million years would I have thought I would've been doing this a day ago.  It's strange to think that, but it's hard not to.  I guess I was just taking a risk.

        "You would've liked her." He chuckled as his grip around my hair tightened a bit before relaxing.  "She was very uptight, but for our own good, she was caring, lovable, and nurturing.  There were so many flaws about her in so many ways.  But she was my mother, I could never hate her.  Now she's gone.  I wish I could take back all those times I ever thought about her in any bad way.  I love her, she'll always be with Octavia and me."

        Realizing he was talking about his mother, I collected all the memories I had about Octavia talking about their mother.  She didn't really at that time, but I'm sure it's because she was floated right after.  I sigh at the thought of their mother being floated.  It's not a pretty one.  "I'm sure I would've liked her.  Especially is she was just like you and Octavia."

        I felt his chest rumble a bit before he kissed the top of my head, in a fashion that I wasn't used to.  It was a foreign feeling, just like the feeling I always got whenever he would kiss me now.  He's changed me in a way I would never admit.  If I ever did, he would run.  Bellamy's not one to be tied down.  This was meant for fun and stress-free moments for the both of us.  But I can't help but just keep wedging myself deeper into his charms.  

Hello all my lovely viewers! <3
Sorry for the misleading chapter title. It's not really "misleading" but I just liked it, okay?! 
Honestly, I think that Crazy In Love by Beyoncé is seriously their song.  Mainly because it's been stuck in my head forever.  By the way, this is the 50 shades of grey version too, so don't get confused.
This chapter is really short and a filler, but I thought it was kind of cute.
Thanks to all of my 43 hearts and 7 comments!  You people rock! 
Please keep commenting and hearting because every time somebody does it always makes me happy.
 
Really important!  My updates may be a little slow because I'm working on a video for this book... my first youtube video ever.  Wish me luck!