Bad Boy's Cupid

C.43- Lucas Or Antonio?

Chapter 43- Lucas Or Antonio?

Since the conversation I had with Stanley, I've been thinking about everything that I was planning to do.

One more day left and I was to be forcefully married to Antonio, but I don't think it would actually be a bad thing.

Antonio visited me last night, and he was so sweet, we ate oreos and dipped them on warm milk, like we did before. And I decided to give him a chance.

I know its kind of stupid for me to do so, but he's my first love, and I guess first love just never dies you know? I know what you're all thinking, what about Lucas?

I've been thinking about what to do about him as well, and truthfully I'm still not sure, all I know right now is that I'm giving Antonio a second chance.

I know I also gave Lucas a second chance, but come to think of it, I feel like Lucas could do so much better than me, he can find someone better than me.

He's such an amazing guy, I know. But I can't let him be with me again, he deserves someone better than me, he deserves someone that would love him more than I did.

I don't want him to get caught up with all of my problems, come to think of it, it was all because of me that's why he left Antonio's gang, and from then on bad things have been happening to me.

Antonio wasn't the bad guy in the first place. It was all me.

I was the bad guy in this story.

And I can't play little miss cupid anymore, I can't be bad boy's cupid anymore.

Yes, a small part of me still loves Lucas. But I can't do this to him anymore. We can't be together because Antonio might kill him.

And I don't want to do that to him, I would rather marry Antonio-even if it was against my will- than be with Lucas only to be worried for every single day praying that he'd be alive for the next one.

It might be confusing, but yes, all the things I've said are true, I am actually giving Antonio a second chance, and no he didn't force me to do it, I figured that if we were getting married, might as well be in love with him right?

And so that's what I'm planning to do, I've lost all hope to be rescued by Lucas, and if however he did rescue me, I wouldn't come with him, because coming with him would only bring danger to his life.

And I would rather him live longer and happier without me.

I'm sure he would find someone better than me.

And I-- I would be contented with the fact that Lucas is safe and happy, even if I'm not with him to enjoy every moment of it.

So its all set, I guess.

Antonio has gone public with our so called engagement I'm pretty sure the whole country knows by now, those single women who are chasing after him would probably try and kill me.

"Hey Vi, what's up?" Antonio came into my room-yes room. I wasn't in the basement anymore.

Antonio specifically customized this room for me, and frankly I couldn't ask for anything better.

I didn't have body guards anymore too, it seems like they trust me not to leave this place.

And I found out that Lucas did leave the gang, but at that time it was about to be gone anyway, a few days after he left Antonio cut off all his contact with everyone. Of course the loyal ones stayed with him, and as much as its hard to believe he actually went to college. He finished up with a degree on Business Administration.

He was only that bad because he just really wanted me to give him a chance. And he promised to never be the same guy again.

He's been free from drugs and alcohol for almost a year now and I couldn't be any more proud of what he's accomplished.

"Oh hey, I was just thinking about everything that's happened the past few days."

He sighed taking off his eye glass, he only uses them when he has a bunch of paperwork to do. "I know its a bit rushed and informal of me, but I promise, you wouldn't regret this okay Cara? I love you. And I know a small tiny part of you loves me too, and I would wait forever to wait for you to love me like you always do. We don't have to get married if you don't want to." He looked down.

He looked so handsome pouting like that.

"Don't be silly,"

"I know half of you only agreed to this because you don't want me to kill Lucas, but please Violet give me a chance to show you that I've changed. That you could still love me."

I simply nodded.

He kissed my cheek and left my room telling me that he still had some work to do.

~(＾◇^)/

I know this all sounds or looks a bit confusing. But yes, I would give Antonio a second chance.

Who am I kidding?

I can't do this! I love Lucas, I can't marry Antonio, I know he's changed but my heart will always belong to one bad boy. And no matter how hard I try to convince myself that I don't love him, I just can't fool myself.

I love Lucas, and I always will. I can't let him go like this, I can't act like he was nothing to me, like he isn't worth anything to me. Because I love him so much.

And I can't bare to see him hurting because of me. But I can't be with him, I can't because Antonio threatened me that if I got back together or even tried to talk to Lucas he would either kill Lucas or my family.

I know he sounds wicked and cruel, but I can't do anything about it. Yes, in some ways he has changed, but he's still the most violent guy I have ever met. And I can't let myself be tied to him forever.

I mean forever is such a long time.

Where the fuck is Lucas anyway? Tomorrow is the wedding. The whole of France knows.

Why hasn't he done anything? Or at least made an effort to try and rescue me?

Forget what I said. I want to still be Bad Boy's Cupid, I know Antonio is a bad boy too, but the only bad boy that I will ever let myself love is Lucas.

But I can't be with him.

And its slowly killing me.

~~