A Court of Watchful Shadows

Happier

Smiling.

I was actually smiling for the first time in what felt like centuries. Things were looking up for me.

The advice Amren had left me with had struck a deep place within me. She had subtly pointed out that any destruction I was facing in this court, was self made. And from that week forewords, I decided to pull myself together. I even almost called Azriel by his name today...almost.

I'd given myself a purpose, finding out more about resurrection in prythian's history. I had Rhysand show me to the other library in Velaris, this one was tended to by multiple priestesses. Priestesses that we're dressed like Ianthe. I told him I didn't want them near me and he reassured me that they wouldn't be which I was glad for.

I would go down into the library every day, scouring the shelves for books on Prythian's history, life and death and necromancy. I hadn't found anything in them yet but I was hopeful.

It was now my daily routine, get up early, bathe, have breakfast, have one of the winged lot fly me down to the library and spend my entire day there.

The library was enormous, filled with shelves on shelves of books, desks and arm chairs littering the area with fae lights floating above. The library lead into the mountain, a dark dark hole that I'd originally have been curious about had I not been told by Rhysand and Cassian that a beast lurks in there. Even I know not to mess with any of the beasts in Prythian, just my luck it would be thousands of naga.

So I held off to mind my own business for once in my life, not wanting to endanger this newfound spark of happiness.

Today's library excursion had me feeling rather on edge though, reason being Feyre, Amren and Rhysand's mission to the summer court was now coming to an end, the court I had lied about being from...if they asked Tarquin - the high lord of the summer court, I'd be found out.

Suppose they can't crucify me for lying about where I'm from though. I padded up and down the bookshelves restlessly. Telling myself I was looking for another book on the cauldron of Prythian though it really was just an excuse to pace.

If today was their last day at the court surely they would've sent a message back had they discovered my background. I huffed and gave up looking, picking up a book on Illyrians to read about instead.

~~

I was knee deep in information about the sensitivity of Illyrian wings hours later when I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was one of the high priestesses, she didn't speak she just pointed to the door and motioned for me to go.

I'd thought she was kicking me out had I not seen a pair of wings surrounding a broad shouldered man at the top of the library where she was pointing too. I stretched myself out as I arose from my seat and made my way up, now studying those wings and several blue gleaming syphons.

I smirked at him, excited for the little game we play every day "couldn't stay away from me could you?"

He remained still "The others want a word with you up at the house." A monotone voice, as though I was a stranger.

I was rather taken aback.

I began to ask "Have the others returned from the su-"

"Returned from the summer court? Yes they have. Let's go." He remained blank faced, but no anger decorating that devastatingly handsome face.

They must know. Surely it's not that big of a deal that I lied about my court is it?

He began to fly me up to the house, refusing to look anywhere but ahead of us. Ouch.

My stomach was in my throat by the time we reached the house, I had a feeling it was about more than me lying about my court, I could sense it.

I made my way into the house with my head held high, not wasting a moment when we landed. The vigorous discussion they were having inside seemed to silence the moment they all laid eyes on me.

Amren looked furious, Mor worried of course, Cassian looked as though he wanted the ground to swallow him up.

"You lied to us!" Amren came stomping over to me. Just as Rhysand and Feyre arrive together from the townhouse.

"So that IS what this is about" I scoff. "Because I lied about my court, boo fucking hoo, maybe I just don't trust you guys enough yet, I mean considering the circumstances of me being here-"

"You not trust us??" She lets out a humourless laugh. "I think it should be the other way around Ziláa, care to explain this?" She holds something up.

No, there was no way my privacy had been breached.

I turned to the only person who had been living in this house with me and scream at him "SO YOU THINK GOING THROUGH MY ROOM IS OKAY IS IT?" He said nothing, so I continued to shout swears at him until Mor spoke up.

"It wasn't him!" I turned to her, one brow cocked. "It wasn't anyone, no one went through your things, it was found by the priestesses in the library where you left it behind two days ago."

Oh.

Though I had been proven wrong my anger still remained, more so at the fact I'd been made to look a fool now.

"You still read it! That's a violation of my privacy!" I sounded like a teenager shouting about this, but I care deeply about my privacy.

Amren scoffed, clearly thinking I sounded like a child too. "Violation or not, you violate our trust, going behind our backs with this crazy plan to resurrect someone with the cauldron."

Feyre gasped, clearly she hadn't been filled in.

"It's not a violation of trust, I knew this is how all of you do gooder's would react so I left out some information." I was panting for breath, the anger boiling in my veins.

Amren narrowed her eyes "Who were you planning on resurrecting then? For all we know it could've been Amarantha."

"Don't you dare try and accuse me of resurrecting that witch!"

"Who then!"

"Amren." Rhysand warned, she shot him a 'let me fight my battle' glare with those silvery eyes.

My mother. The thought of her sent ice freezing over any anger left in me.

"No one."

Amren scoffed again but I was done arguing, I made for the hallway to my room.

"We'll be burning this book!" She shouted after me.

"That's enough." Rhysand stopped her.

They began to discuss it. I stopped listening even before I was out of earshot. I couldn't take anymore harsh words.

Any hope of resurrecting my mother was gone without that book.